


Schism

by WritingEmi



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Community: yj_anon_meme, Depression, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, M/M, Mental Anguish, Multiple Personalities, Psychological Trauma, Recovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Slash, Team, Trauma, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-16 17:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingEmi/pseuds/WritingEmi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a prompt from the yj_anon_meme community:  When Wally West got his powers, his psyche also created a new personality to deal with the trauma of the experiment and the new responsibilities of being a speedster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Parts 1-5

**Author's Note:**

> This is a completed work that is being edited for grammar. More parts to come.

1

 

“Look, sweetie, you’re in the newspaper again.  I’m going to cut out the article and add it to the scrapbook,” Mary West beamed as she held up the paper while she and her family ate breakfast.

 

“Mary, you know you’re just going to embarrass the boy,” Rudolph rolled his eyes at his wife and gave his son a wink.  “You know how he is, he’s on top of the world when he’s in his suit, but he’s all bashful and modest once he’s grounded back into reality.”

 

“Well, I need to get out all my love and praise somehow, it’s not like I can brag to my friends that my son is Kid Flash.”  Mary kissed her son on the cheek.  “You were very brave, Wally, you saved that entire family from that fire.”

 

Wally West shrank down in his chair and gave his mom a weak smile.  He would have said thanks, but the praise wasn’t his to accept.  All that praise and love wasn’t for him, for Wally West, it was for Kid Flash.  It felt wrong taking the credit and he did his best not to indulge his mother.  At least his dad seemed to get a clue, though it made his heartache when his dad would pull him into a rare hug and whisper how proud he was of him.  But it wasn’t for being Wally, it was for being Kid Flash.

 

_/Hey, stop getting all gloomy and just take the compliment, you know I don’t mind, Wall.  You deserve it, especially after last week when you told me about the chemical reaction thingy and made me sound really smart./_

 

Wally managed to crack a real smile.  “Thanks, Mom, but the Flash did most of the work.”

 

“As I said, modest,” Rudolph teased.

 

Wally shrugged and finished his large breakfast before grabbing his bag for school.  School was a double edged sword.  In one sense he liked school, Wally was smart and he did really well, every year he was the winner of the science fair and all of his teachers liked him.  But he also didn’t have many friends and was constantly bullied.  His parents used to be concerned about him, but ever since Kid Flash appeared they were convinced that Wally could take care of himself now.  And as Wally found that his bruises healed before he got home he stopped telling his parents about being bullied, they had enough to worry about.  They already worried about Kid Flash going out on dangerous missions and saving people, they didn’t need to worry about Wally being roughed up by some teenagers.

 

So when Wally got smacked around behind the school, no one was the wiser.  Except for one very vocal spectator.

 

_/Let me take care of them, Wall.  Let me take care of them just once and they’ll never touch you again./_

_Don’t worry about it.  I’m fine._

_/Fine?  I don’t call this fine!  I’m going to take care of them!  Just you watch me./_

_No!  Please.  We agreed this is my time.  This is_ my _time._

_/Damn it, Wall, I don’t care!  Let me OUT!/_

 

Wally closed his eyes and pushed away the other pressing down on his mind, lying against the cool concrete behind the school and waited for his bullies to leave and for his injuries to heal before going home.  He wished that he was stronger, that he could make them stop on his own, but Wally wasn’t very strong or brave.  That was why Wally didn’t like it when his parents praised him, when his aunt baked him extra cookies because he was her little hero or when his uncle wrapped his arm around Wally’s shoulders and called him his partner.  Because Wally West was a fraud.

 

Wally West wasn’t Kid Flash.

 

 

2

 

Mount Justice was one of Kid Flash’s favorite places.  He could hang out and be himself, interacting with other teenage superheroes who shared similar experiences with mentors and villains.  Home was great, but it wasn’t really a place for KF to hang out, his parents didn’t really _get_ him.  But his friends did, sometimes, and that was enough for Kid Flash. 

 

KF was always eager to visit Mount Justice and secretly loved it when the computer announced his presence and got his name right.  How hard was it to remember Kid Flash?  He was a memorable guy too, good looking, fast, funny, who wouldn’t want to remember his name?  If he wasn’t so busy fighting crime with the Flash or going on covert missions with his team, KF was sure that his phone would be filled with the numbers of people wanting to go out with him.  But he didn’t have that kind of time and he was trying to get someone else’s attention.

 

“Hey, beautiful!  Miss me much?”  Kid Flash leaned against the counter and winked at Megan, who was busy making dinner.

 

“Oh hey, Wally.  It’s nice to see you,” Megan gave him a small smile.

 

His grin tightened at the name Megan said.  Something stirred in him at the sound of the name, appearing briefly at KF’s periphery before disappearing in shyness.  Ignoring the name and the feeling, KF relaxed his smile.  “Mm, dinner smells delicious.  A great fighter and a great cook, you are a lady of many talents, Megan.”

 

“Um, thanks …”

 

KF was determined to win Megan over, it was his secret mission, but he wasn’t really getting anywhere.  That didn’t mean KF was going to accept defeat, even when Robin told him that he was an idiot.  He would keep trying, for someone who needed him to.  While KF thought Megan was pretty and he liked to flirt with her, she really wasn’t his type, but she made an impression on someone else when they first met.

 

_Megan’s really sweet.  I like her._

 

_/You_ like _her?  Really?  Then I’ll set you up with her!  I’ll make her your girlfriend!/_

_What?  No!  No, don’t, please don’t …_

_/And why not?/_

_…she won’t like me…_

_/Are you kidding me, Wall?  Megan will love you! I’ll put on my charm, get her interested and then I’ll introduce you to her.  Megan will accept you, she’ll accept both of us./_

 

The only problem was that Megan wasn’t responding to his flirting.  The only thing his flirting seemed to do was annoy his teammates.  And it didn’t help that Megan was all weak in the knees about Conner.

 

_It’s because Conner is good looking, not all pale and freckled like a freak._

_/Have some confidence!  Freckles are hot and Megan has freckles./_

 

“Wally, would you grab the plates and silverware for me?”

 

Kid Flash winked at her.  “I’ll have it done in a flash, gorgeous.” 

 

And in no more than a couple of seconds he had the dishes out, ready and waiting for hungry teens to arrive.  Soon the other members of their team started piling into the kitchen and served themselves large portions of spaghetti, which was one of the better meals Megan made.  They all sat in front of the TV, but for the most part they were focused on each other instead of the flickering images.  It had been awhile since the team was altogether at Mount Justice and they were busy catching up.  Kid Flash liked being around his team and regaling his friends with tales about his exploits in Central City.  But unfortunately they didn’t always understand him and wanted to know ‘personal’ things.

 

“Wally, is your high school like the one I saw on TV?”

 

“Don’t you have a life outside of crime fighting, Wally?”

 

“Geez, Wally, what do your other friends say when you eat like that?”

 

“May I ask how your family is, Wally?”

 

“Wally, do a lot of kids at your school wear Superman shirts?”

 

Kid Flash always cringed inwardly at those questions and at that name.  There was nothing wrong with the questions or the name, except that his friends were asking the wrong person and were calling him by the wrong name.  He hated it, but he didn’t tell them.  Instead he smiled and answered the best he could, often joking rather than answering their inquiries.  And with each answer he would give them he felt like he was lying and guilt weighed down heavily upon him.  Kid Flash felt like he was tricking his teammates when he answered questions about Wally.  Because they really shouldn’t be asking Kid Flash.

 

Kid Flash wasn’t Wally West.

 

 

3

 

Wally didn’t always have Kid Flash.  There was a distinct time before Kid Flash, where he was nothing more than Wally West.  That was the time _before_ the experiment and Kid Flash came _after_ the experiment.

 

The lab experiment wasn’t even supposed to work and Wally wasn’t supposed to be messing around with chemicals like that.  But he couldn’t help himself.  All he wanted was to see the beakers and chemicals laid out on the table in front of him, reaffirming to himself that science had given the Flash his powers.  There were no mysteries behind it, it was pure science and it could be reproduced.

 

Wally measured out everything with care and set out each beaker and vial just like the Flash had shown him.  Meeting the Flash had been the single greatest day of Wally’s life, even if he didn’t have the courage to actually speak to the man.  The hero didn’t seem surprised though and somehow knew the questions that burned deeply in Wally.  Wally would later find out that his beloved uncle was the Flash and was anticipating Wally’s nervousness.  During his visit with the Flash, his idol told him stories about some of his more epic fights and walked him through the experiment that gave him his powers.  Wally’s keen mind memorized the experiment down to the last detail. 

 

Taking a step back, Wally had admired his work and a strange sense of longing filled him as he looked at the table.  There was a part of Wally that wanted to be a hero, to be like the Flash.  He wanted to be brave and fast, to have people cheer when they saw him and make a difference in the world.  Then people would like Wally, they would want to be his friend and not tease and torment him.  But those were foolish dreams and his father often told him to keep his head down and work hard, because that was how real people got ahead.  It was advice that Wally often lived by.

 

The house was empty, his parents were gone for the day and Wally didn’t notice as dark clouds gathered above.  The wind picked up through the open window in the attic where Wally had setup his experiment, but the thirteen year old hardly noticed.  Wally was too wrapped up in fantasies of what could be, his daydreaming was a trait that his parents highly discouraged and Wally tried hard to suppress it.  But there were moments like that one where Wally couldn’t help himself and he thought about what it’d be like to be someone who mattered.

 

Maybe if Wally hadn’t been daydreaming he would have noticed the storm clouds gathering outside and the telltale signs of a storm.  But he didn’t notice until there was a bright flash that struck the table and the horrific burn of chemicals consumed him.  It should have happened quickly, because the accident only lasted for a few seconds, but Wally remembered it in great detail.  Every second passed like an hour and he could remember seeing individual drops of the chemicals and he could remember thinking how long it took him to fall to the ground.

 

The shock and the pain were too much for him to handle.  A voice echoed in his mind, it sounded like himself, but the tone held confidence.  _/I can take it.  I can take the pain.  Let me help you./_

_…please help me…_

Something split from Wally, something separated from him.  A part of himself that he never knew existed broke off.  Then a new presence was pushing against his mind and Wally, consumed with agony, let it take over without a care.  Wally passed out not long after he hit the floor, after he heard the voice, and woke up four days later tucked in his bed.  He found out that Kid Flash had been awake for the past three.

 

From then on was the time _after_ the experiment and Wally was no longer alone.

 

 

4

 

Kid Flash used to joke that it would be great to have another person to hang out with in Wally’s mind.  Two years of just him and Wally housed in Wally’s head was kind of lonely, especially since KF didn’t get out as much before the formation of Young Justice.  While KF used to sneak out to Gotham or Star City, Wally knew that it wasn’t enough for his counterpart and was thankful when Young Justice provided him with a better outlet for his social needs.  KF complained that he got bored in Wally’s head when the other was busy with schoolwork or chores and couldn’t pay attention to him.  But now that he got his wish, KF often said that he’d eat his own goggles if it would make the third one go away.  Though Wally suspected KF liked their new roommate more than he let on.

 

It was Wally who found out that he and KF had company.  It happened not long after Kid Flash’s encounter with Dr. Fate and Klarion, after witnessing Mr. Kent Nelson’s death.  The incident shook up both Wally and KF.  Both had grieved Mr. Nelson’s death and were terrified of Dr. Fate’s helmet.  While inside the helmet both Mr. Nelson and Dr. Fate stared straight at Wally’s soul and both could see the cracks that divided him and Kid Flash.  Both saw Wally and Kid Flash for what they were in a way that no one else ever did.  They could see the divisions along Wally’s spirit and they could see the part of Wally that _believed_ in what Mr. Nelson and Dr. Fate were saying despite his intense denial over what was happening.  They could see another crack forming in Wally’s soul.

 

Afterwards, Wally begged KF to never put the helmet on again.  KF agreed.  They both felt too exposed in there.

 

Not long after KF and Wally thought they were done with Dr. Fate beyond helping to find a new host, Wally woke up in Kid Flash’s room in Mount Justice and his chest hurt.  It was unusual for Wally to wake up there, but a couple of times when KF was especially exhausted after a mission Wally would come out and take over, and rested in the room until KF was ready.  Taking off his shirt to see what was wrong, he could see a burn across his skin in the hushed light of the nightlight KF kept in the room.  The wound was healing much slower than usual and it hurt so much when he moved that Wally cried out.  He managed to bite down on his hand to keep from making more noise, because KF told him that Superboy had really good hearing and he didn’t want to draw any attention.  After this long Wally had yet to meet KF’s teammates and friends, and he was too afraid to suddenly meet them.

 

Wally searched his memories, if KF took over then he’d leave behind fragments of memories for Wally to see.  Sometimes Wally was more aware, especially if KF was interacting with his friends, Wally was very curious about them.  But for the most part if there was a battle Wally curled into himself and remained oblivious until KF fed him the information.  This time though, when Wally reached out for the fragments he found nothing.  That worried him greatly, KF always left something behind.  Something was terribly wrong.

 

_/Wall, what’s wrong?  Are you ok?/_

_I … I’m injured, we’re injured.  What did you do last night, KF?_

_/What do you mean?  There wasn’t a mission or any team stuff going on last night, I didn’t come out.  Jesus, Wall, you’re in so much pain, let me out and I’ll take it from you!/_

 

Wally could feel the panic rising up in KF and he knew that the other felt responsible.  KF was protective of him.  Every time Wally took a hit, KF was right at the surface of his mind, begging to be released so Wally wouldn’t feel any pain. 

Before either Wally or KF could panic even more, new voice echoed through Wally’s mind.  The voice was familiar and asserted a power and authority that both Wally and KF lacked.  _-The body will be fine.  It was merely hit by a magical blast that has disrupted the body’s healing.  All will be well, you merely need more rest.-_

_Who … Who are you?_

_-I am the part of you that_ believes.  _The part of you that can handle the power of the helmet without fear and that is ready to take on the responsibility of Dr. Fate. The part of you that has broken off from yourself and Kid Flash, that can handle the stress of magic to protect the world from Chaos.-_

And then there was a rush of memories.  The memories that were missing from Wally’s mind came flooding in, making him clutch his head and whimper in confusion.  He saw images of the battles that had been fought, the frustration in Klarion’s eyes, a knowing smile from Mr. Nelson and he saw himself standing in the helmet again, strong and determined.  Wally gasped when he realized that this had not been the first time, that his body had been taken over by this third person without Wally or KF’s knowledge.  A new life had been forged, a new purpose.

Both Wally and KF were silent for a moment before KF said, _/Aw fuck, we’ve got another one and he’s **insane**./ _

 

And that was how Wally and KF met Kid Fate.

 

 

5

 

By all means, it should have been the people closest to Wally who noticed the difference between him and his other personalities.  But it wasn’t.  It was precisely because Wally was so close to his parents, his aunt, and his uncle that he was able to get away with hiding the fact that he wasn’t Kid Flash.  Wally was comfortable with his family, the shyness that hindered him at school and in front of other people didn’t cross over into his life with his family.  While he wasn’t as loud or as eager as KF, Wally was able to fool his family enough to make them believe that he and Kid Flash were one in the same.

 

The quietness about him was often explained by Wally feeling less confident about his civilian self as he was bullied when he was younger and because his parents fought a lot.  His parents loved him, that much was for sure, but Rudolph and Mary West were prone to get into shouting contests with one another.  It was explained that once Kid Flash took off his uniform and was Wally West again, away from his superhero life, then the teen felt vulnerable and shut himself off.  It was a neat and tidy explanation, and almost believable to Wally if it wasn’t for his missing memories and distinct voices in his head.

 

Because of that neat and tidy explanation, Wally didn’t resent his family for not knowing that the teen who ran around and fought crime was a completely different person from the teen who sat down and had dinner with them.  He wasn’t angry at his Uncle Barry for not noticing, saying that his brash behavior and snarky remarks were a part of his Kid Flash persona to protect his identity.  It actually made Wally relieved to know that they didn’t think he was crazy, that they thought his change in attitude was normal.

 

But sometimes Wally couldn’t keep up the charade and his uncle would become worried about Wally’s behavior.

 

One day, they were walking out of an ice cream shop together and Barry decided that they would walk the long way home.  Wally silently agreed, enjoying the time he spent with his uncle, especially since he was feeling rather down.  That week a pretty girl had asked to be his lab partner in his chemistry class and while she acted friendly at first, he quickly found that she was using him to get a good grade and actually laughed at Wally behind his back with her other pretty friends.  They called him a nerd, weird, a freak, ugly and teacher’s pet.  Wally was even more horrified to find out that his lab partner had started a vicious rumor that he was doing _favors_ for their chemistry teach to get an A.  It just reminded Wally that people didn’t want to be friends with him and that they only wanted to use him.

 

_/I’m your friend, Wall.  I mean, I use your body, but I like you. We’re friends./_

_-They are not worth your time, Wally.-_

_…Thanks, guys…_

 

Barry steered them off to a nearby park and they sat together on a bench, idly chatting.  Uncle Barry asked Wally about school and he happily told his uncle about the upcoming science fair.  He told his uncle about his A on his math test and praise his physics teacher gave him for his project.  Then he quietly admitted to Barry about the incident with his lab partner and that he was lonely in general, because he and Barry shared almost everything, except for Wally’s secret that threatened their closeness.

 

His uncle’s arm fell heavily across Wally’s shoulders and brought him in for a hug.  Wally loved that he had someone like his uncle in his life, because Barry was the one who was with both Wally and Kid Flash the most and he loved them both.  And Wally was sure that if Barry met Kid Fate his uncle would love him too.

And Barry understood what it was like to have a multiple identities, to be Barry Allen and the Flash, two different people, but the same.  Even though Barry didn’t know that he interacted with two different boys housed in the same body, Wally felt like his uncle understood him the most.  It was Barry who had hugged Wally after Kid Flash’s first big fight with a Rogue and Barry saw how scared Wally was afterwards.  His uncle had hugged _Wally_ and told him that it was ok to be scared, that it was ok to feel one thing in the heat of battle and another once everything was over.  He told Wally that as Barry Allen he often felt afraid, like he was inadequate compared to how felt when he was the Flash.  He _understood._ At least as much as anyone could really understand.

 

But because Barry and Wally were so close when Wally said things like he was lonely, Barry could see that there was something wrong beyond the surface of that statement and that Wally’s troubles ran deeper than that.  Because Kid Flash was constantly surrounded by people, he had close friends and he was always happy.  However, Barry could see the sadness and insecurity in Wally’s eyes and the way the teen managed to look so small and vulnerable jut by sitting on a park bench.  He knew there was something wrong with his nephew.

 

“Wally, if there’s anything else that’s wrong you can always tell me, you know that right?”  Barry asked.

 

“Of course, Uncle Barry, we’re partners.”  Wally tried to give him a bright smile.

 

“Right.  So is there anything else you want to tell me?”

 

_I’m not Kid Flash.  I’m so sorry for lying to you, for always lying to you, but I’m not your partner.  I’m nothing, I’m worse than nothing, I’m a fraud, a freak, weak, and useless.  I’m so sorry Uncle Barry, please forgive me.  Please don’t hate me.  I love you so much.  I couldn’t stand it if you hated me, even though you out of all people would be the most justified in hating me._

 

“No, there’s nothing, Uncle Barry.”

 

_I would tell you everything, if I didn’t think I’d lose you forever._


	2. Parts 6-9.5

6

 

Star City was one of Kid Flash’s favorite places to be.  Before there was Mount Justice, there was Star City and Gotham which had provided him with places to run, places to be Kid Flash when he wasn’t fighting crime with the Flash in Central City.  They were also the hometowns of his best friends, Robin and Speedy (now Red ‘Smoking Hot’ Arrow).  Even with Mount Justice, KF found himself drawn to the big cities and called upon his friends to entertain him.  In Gotham, Kid Flash would run the dark streets as Robin soared through the night with his grappling gun.  When Batman was away they would play tag with Robin on his motorcycle.  Gotham was always fun, there were always crazy villains and strange sights to behold.

 

To KF, Star City was completely different.  It was riddled with crime like Gotham, but something else pulled KF to that city.  It wasn’t just for excitement and villains, there was something even better.

 

When he arrived in Star City, Red Arrow was just finishing taking down some would-be robbers.  KF had missed the action, but he didn’t mind.  Getting Red Arrow’s attention and throwing him a wink, KF motioned to a nearby building and raced up the side of it, barely catching the ledge of the rooftop when he lost momentum.  He didn’t have to wait long before he heard the echo of a trick arrow and Red Arrow appeared up on the rooftop.  Almost right away, KF flung himself at Red Arrow and smashed his mouth against the older teen’s lips.  His arms wrapped around Red Arrow’s neck tightly and his toes curled in pleasure when Red Arrow returned the embrace.

 

This was what he came to Star City for.  He liked Red Arrow, the older teen was had a bad temper, was stubborn, threw hats, and was _hot_.  KF enjoyed the time that he stole to be with Red Arrow, the fleeting kisses and gropes, deep gasps of breath, and whispered codenames.  Making out with Red Arrow took the edge off of the teenage hormones that raced through his body and it was just fun.

 

KF eventually pulled back, his eyes half opened and his lips slightly swollen from being kissed.  Red Arrow moved to slip off his cowl, but KF batted his hand away, his eyes bright with a secret he refused to tell Red Arrow.  This was how he liked it, masks, costumes, and two people together for brief moments on deserted rooftops under the cover of the night.  It satisfied Red Arrow’s cravings, for awhile.  However, KF could sense that the other teen wanted to be more than just Red Arrow and Kid Flash, he wanted to also be Roy and Wally.  KF tried not to think about it too much, because he _knew_ that he could be enough for Red Arrow and the older teen just didn’t realize it yet.

 

“Wally,” Red Arrow whispered the name against KF’s cheek.

 

KF flinched and glared at the older teen, but didn’t comment on the name.  Still, Red Arrow could tell that he didn’t like it, even if he didn’t understand why.  “Kid,” he amended himself with the nickname and the speedster relaxed.  “Kid, come back to my place.”

 

KF untangled himself from Red Arrow’s embrace and gave him a lopsided smile.  The invitation sounded nice, but he knew that he shouldn’t.  “You know I can’t.  I’ve got a curfew and if I get in trouble with my parents then the Flash won’t take me out on patrol.”

 

Red Arrow hooked a hand behind KF’s neck and drew him in for another kiss.  An open mouthed kiss where Red Arrow shoved his tongue between KF’s lips and showed KF exactly what he wanted to do.  When their mouths parted, Red Arrow urged, “Call them and tell them you’re spending the night at a friend’s place.”

 

A good excuse and his parents would buy it, but he really shouldn’t.  He really shouldn’t go with Red Arrow.  He wanted to, he wanted to go with Red Arrow, go to his tiny apartment and continue what they had started on the rooftop.  And why shouldn’t he?  KF worked hard as a hero, didn’t he deserve some time to enjoy himself?  Wally would understand.  Once he got Wally and Megan together, then he’d break things off with Red Arrow for appearances, even though he dreaded the thought.  KF liked Red Arrow, but Wally liked Megan, and he had a feeling that Kid Fate had a love-hate relationship with Klarion.  But for now, it was _his_ time and Wally West was promised to no one else. 

 

Taking out his cell phone, KF called his parents and told them that he was spending the night at a friend’s place.

 

In the privacy of his small apartment, Red Arrow finally managed to slip off KF’s cowl and the bright uniform.  When KF told Robin before that he felt naked in his civvies, he wasn’t lying.  He hated wearing civilian clothing since he was often mistaken as Wally, but as he stood in front of Red Arrow in only his underwear he felt oddly comfortable.  KF wasn’t ashamed of his body, his pale skin, his freckles, his long limbs, his lean muscles.  He wasn’t ashamed of it at all.  It was a confidence that only he felt.  Wally would be mortified if he knew that KF was almost naked in front of Red Arrow.  Kid Fate would just be annoyed.

 

“Kid.”  Red Arrow reached out and cupped KF’s cheek with gentleness that confused the younger teen.  In the confines of the walls, floor and ceiling of the apartment, Red Arrow was a different beast altogether.  He was Roy Harper.  KF remained Kid Flash.

 

Their lips met again and Roy smirked a little in a sense of triumph that he finally got to kiss _Wally_.  And the entire night he never realized that he _didn’t_.

 

 

6.5

 

Wally woke up extra comfortable and he buried his face into the lumpy pillow under his head to muffle his sigh of contentment.  It was the kind of comfortable feeling that made Wally’s toes curl in happiness.  He felt safe and warm.  Closing his eyes again, Wally hoped to cling onto that feeling of security and settled further into the arms that were holding him and the strong chest against his back.  Wally’s eyes snapped open when the fog of sleep lifted from his head and he realized that there was someone else in the bed with him.

 

His heart jumped when he tried to remember what happened the night before, but all he got were vague images and voices that floated in his mind that made no sense.  Turning his head, Wally saw a familiar looking older teen lying next to him in a bed and a room that was not his own.  The older redhead was still asleep and a quick check showed Wally that the other boy had at least his boxers on and Wally had a pair of pajama pants and a loose shirt on. 

 

With stealth that Wally didn’t even know that he possessed he untangled himself from the other teen’s embrace and slipped out of bed.  He located Kid Flash’s uniform and goggles lying on the ground, gathered up KF’s possessions and slipped on the boots.  The other boy stirred, missing his bed partner and cracked open his eyes.

 

“Kid?”  The older teen whispered, his voice rough and tired.

 

The voice made Wally’s chest tighten and his legs shook as the other boy began to sit up in bed, obviously not going back to sleep.  As the older teen started to wake up more, Wally bolted before he could ask any questions.

 

He ran out of the apartment.  Out of Star City and back home to Central City where he was _safe_.

 

It was still early in the morning, even with the time difference in Central City, so his parents didn’t wake up when Wally snuck inside the house and upstairs to his room.  Dropping down on his bed, Wally curled into a ball as his entire body trembled.  He kept thinking of the older boy, his handsome face peaceful in his sleep, the roughness of his voice, and for some reason it made Wally’s heart ache in a sweet way.  Finally names came up from the depths of his subconscious and disjointed memories from KF of the older boy filled Wally’s mind.

 

Red hair not unlike his own.  Arrows that always hit their mark.  A sharp and biting smile that made KF’s knees weak.  A temper that _burned._ Bright eyes staring at KF as a mask was taken off and looked at him, waiting for him to return the gesture.  A hat being thrown down.  And warm lips that descended on Kid Flash and it felt so good, so wonderful to be wrapped in _those_ arms, held so tightly, hands gripping his hips so hard that if he let go KF felt like he would come apart at the seams—

 

Speedy.  Red Arrow.  Roy Harper.

 

The intensity of the memories knocked the breath out of Wally’s lungs.  He was used to seeing Robin, savoring the strong friendship that he and KF had and that Wally craved.  He was used to seeing Megan, looking at her from a distance and longing for her kindness.  He was used to Kaldur’s calmness, Artemis’s sharp edge, and Conner’s strength.  He was used to seeing most of KF’s friends, experiencing his memories and living vicariously through the other.  But Wally didn’t experience much when it came to Red Arrow and the memories had been so strong that Wally knew that KF’s recollections of Red Arrow were deeply personal. 

 

It struck Wally that Kid Flash was in a relationship.  With another boy.

 

_/Oh god!  I’m so sorry! I just wanted to have some fun, I didn’t think you’d be back so soon!/_

The other’s voice echoed in panic in Wally’s head and the teenager only curled up into a tighter ball on his bed.  _Go away.  Please.  Just leave me alone._

_/Don’t be that way, Wall.  Talk to me, pleeeeeaaaaaase!/_

_…_

_/Wall.  Wally.  Wallace.  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!/_

_…_

_/You can’t ignore me forever, we live in the same head!/_

_Fine._ Wally pouted.  That didn’t mean that he was ready to talk to KF, the whole situation was too confusing to Wally and he just wanted to mope in peace.

_/Um, so, do you want me to stop seeing him?/_

The question was hesitant and filled with apprehension.  KF was giving Wally the choice to end it.  While Wally was shocked and frightened by the situation, he knew he could never deny KF his happiness.  Just because Wally was unable to make friends and have relationships didn’t mean that KF shouldn’t have them.

 

_No.  You deserve to be happy.  I just wish … I wish you had told me … I thought we were friends._

_/We are friends!  Best friends!  I was afraid you’d say no to me seeing Red Arrow, because you like Megan so much.  You can ask me anything, I’ll be totally open about this./_

Wally really didn’t want to know.  It depressed him to think that his body had already experienced its first kiss and Wally wasn’t even aware of it.  The thought made him wonder what else he might have missed out on.  _Did you … you know … with Roy?_

_/No!  No, of course not!  We didn’t have sex, I promise!  And I am still trying to set you up with Megan!  I just get lonely, you know?  And Red Arrow is so hot.  And kissing is fun.  And so is touching.  And that thing that Red does with his tongue on my—/_

_Please!  I don’t want to know!_

_/Ok, ok, fine.  Just don’t be mad at me for not telling you, ok?  I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me./_

_…not mad…_

_/Oh god, you are mad at me!  I’ll make it up to you, I swear!  I know, I’ll do your chores for a week … no wait, two weeks … A month?/_

_…deal…_

 

 

7

 

Kid Fate didn’t come out very often, not like Kid Flash.  Every once in awhile something would tug on Wally’s very soul like a call from Mount Justice and Fate would rise up from Wally’s subconscious and take over.  Kid Fate recognized that call and he would sneak into the trophy room at the mountain to steal the helmet for awhile.

 

Fate couldn’t control what Nabu did with Wally’s body, but he stood with Kent Nelson and watched the battles that Dr. Fate fought.  It was nice to be able to stand with Mr. Nelson, to listen to him talk and to hear his stories, it made Fate feel like Mr. Nelson was still alive and not trapped in a helmet, separated from his beloved wife.  It helped to ease the guilt that often ate away at Kid Fate as the images of desperately trying to save Mr. Nelson’s life were seared into his mind.  When Fate thought about it, Mr. Nelson’s death was probably when he started to become Kid Fate, when he started to become someone different from Kid Flash and Wally.

 

There was a part of both Wally and KF that believed in what Mr. Nelson said, but neither of them wanted to accept it.

 

When Fate appeared in the helmet, eager to talk to Mr. Nelson, he could always see the sad smile on the older man’s face.  Mr. Nelson knew that he wasn’t talking to the same kid he first met.  There was a sort of pity in his eyes that Fate couldn’t bring himself to look at, a pity for a kid who was broken into three pieces.  And two of those pieces were more than willing to put their collective lives in constant danger.

 

KF often accused Fate of not caring about Wally, but that wasn’t true.  Kid Fate did care about Wally and fought with Nabu after almost every battle to make sure that the Lord of Order took off the helmet.  If Kid Fate didn’t care about Wally he’d let the Lord of Order just take the body, but he did care and so he stood up for his friend.  However the fights he put Wally through were often worse than anything KF went through, so Fate made sure Wally was hidden away and wasn’t aware of what was going on.

 

The body was always left far more abused and the wounds were often slow to heal due to the magic thrown at him by Klarion.  It was regrettable, but necessary.

 

The world needed Dr. Fate.

 

Reaching up to place the helmet back on its high shelf, Fate winced as his limbs protested and a burn on his arm throbbed.  KF would be especially angry at him and Wally would quietly bear the pain.

 

“I thought you said that there wasn’t any magic to that thing.”

 

He couldn’t help the twitch of his lips moving up into a smile when Fate heard that voice.  His spitfire as Mr. Nelson referred to her.  The others didn’t like her as much as he did, Wally was scared of her and KF thought she was beautiful, but saw her as someone who replaced his boyfriend on the team.  To Kid Fate though, she was not only beautiful, but filled with passion and with a small sense of belief that cut past her skepticism and softened the edges of her harsh view on the world.  She was stunning and it took his breath away.

 

Unfortunately both his crush and his enemy made him the subject of ridicule.

 

_/Worst.  Taste.  Ever.  First that annoying brat Klarion and now Miss Speedy Wannabe./_

_-I **do not** have feelings for Klarion!  And there is nothing wrong with Artemis!  She is a strong ally and friend.-_

_/God, you’ve got such a hard on for Klarion that you make even me blush.  I think you’ve scarred Wally for life with some of your ‘battles’ with the brat.  And there is everything wrong with Artemis!  Also, stop trying to ruin my chances of setting Wally up with Megan./_

_-And yet you are allowed to have romps with Red Arrow?-_

_/Ok, first, I was totally here way before you so I get privileges.  Second, who the hell says romps?  Third, at least I’m not in love with enemy./_

_- **I am not in love with Klarion!** -_

_You do seem to think about him a lot…_

_-…I hate both of you.-_

 

Fate winced at the memory, he got very little respect from KF, but to have Wally make the same observation stung.  The quiet boy was smarter than KF and often chose his words carefully so not to offend Kid Fate.

 

Artemis cleared her throat impatiently and Fate was brought back to the present.  Schooling his features to show the annoyance he could feel from KF, Fate turned to face Artemis.  He tried to act like Kid Flash so Artemis wouldn’t become suspicious.  “I thought it could use a dusting.”

 

“Then you must have given it the royal treatment, because you took it five hours ago where you were completely out of contact.”

 

Fate shrugged with a carelessness that he didn’t feel.  “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”

 

“You’re using that helmet,” Artemis accused.  “I remember how powerful Dr. Fate’s enemies are, they killed Kent Nelson.”

 

Kid Fate held his gaze steady, her implied concern touched him.  “You are right, they are powerful, which is why the world needs Dr. Fate.”

 

“Then tell us when they’re going to attack since you seem to know.  Tell us and we’ll fight them as a team,” Artemis insisted.  Her tone conveyed her irritation at his solo acts, but underneath it Fate could hear her worry, the memory of Kent Nelson’s death hurt even more when she saw him holding the helmet.

 

“There are some things I have to do alone, this is one of them.”

 

“Don’t be a stubborn idiot!”  She snapped, not buying into what he was saying.  “You’re going to get yourself killed!”

 

“There is nothing that any of you can do and I am able to hold Klarion off on my own,” Fate said quietly.

 

“If we can’t do anything, then let the Justice League handle it.  If I remember correctly, you’re Kid Flash!  Our friend and teammate, not some Harry Potter wizard reject!”

 

“The Justice League can’t do anything about it.”  It grieved him to argue with her even though it got his blood moving.  He walked towards the doorway and moved past Artemis, who was seething at him.  As Kid Fate brushed past her, he whispered, “You don’t understand now, but the world needs Dr. Fate and I will continue to be his host so the world will not be without him.”

 

Kid Fate ignored the confused and angry look on her face and moved on as she yelled at him.  While she was mad at him, he was glad that he could at least make her feel _something,_ because she made him feel _everything_.

 

 

8

 

Linda Park was pretty, sharp minded and completely in love with Kid Flash.  She was also one of the few people at school who acted friendly towards Wally.  While she didn’t eat lunch with him every day, they had a designated day, Thursdays, when they had lunch together outside if the weather was nice or in the hallway if it was too cold or raining.  They mainly had lunch together on Thursdays because they had quizzes on Fridays in their biology class and Wally went over the material from that week with her. 

 

Wally had no illusions over his relationship with Linda.  They weren’t friends.  She was using him, but he was also using her to some extent.  Linda was nice to him and he used her for that kindness, soaking it up like it was warm rays of sunshine soothing the chill in his bones.

 

As they sat outside, pouring over Wally’s notes during lunch and Wally was reaching for his second sandwich, Linda made an obvious statement.

 

“You have red hair,” she stated.

 

Without missing a beat Wally tugged up the hood of his Flash sweatshirt, pulling it over his head and continued going over the notes.  From when he was small his hair had been one of the things that other kids tormented him over.  Now any comments on his hair made Wally instinctively hide it if he could.

 

Linda pulled down his hood and chastised him.  “Don’t hide it!  It reminds me of Kid Flash and that boy is _hot_.”

 

Wally choked on a mouthful of his sandwich and flushed brightly at the comment.  She didn’t realize that she was talking about him, or more accurately the body that he shared with Kid Flash.  Seeing his embarrassment, Linda just sighed and looked down at her notebook, retracing her doodle of a heart in the margins of the paper that said ‘Kid Flash + Linda’ with her pencil.

 

Feeling uncharacteristically adventurous, Wally murmured mysteriously, “Maybe _I am_ Kid Flash.”

 

Linda dropped her pencil and stared at Wally with wide eyes.  Then she saw the shy, teasing grin on Wally’s face and she pushed his shoulder and snorted, “Yeah right, in your dreams.  Kid Flash isn’t half the nerd you are and you aren’t half the hottie he is.”

 

Wally bit his lip, he didn’t know how to react to that.  Was she trying to be mean to him?

 

Her eyes were still kind and she ruffled his hair affectionately, similar to how Uncle Barry played with his hair when he was teasing Wally.  “You’re still pretty cute though.  In a sweet geeky way.”

 

The smile returned to Wally’s face.  _Is this how friends are supposed to act?  Are we friends, Linda?  Do you want to be friends with me?_

 

Whenever Kid Flash was with his friends, Wally uncurled from himself and watched how easily KF interacted with everyone.  How close he was with Robin, how he flirted confidently with Megan, bickered easily with Artemis, the way he teased Conner, how he made Kaldur quietly laugh, and the perfect way in which his lips lined up with Roy’s.  It was so easy when it came to KF, he was so carefree in the way he formed relationships with other people, while with Wally it was hardship, a venture into the unknown.

 

Even Kid Fate seemed to be doing better than Wally.  There was a budding friendship between Fate and Nelson, a relationship that was similar to mentor and protégé, but also friendly and light.  His interactions with Artemis showed revealed her concern over him and bonds of friendship that were hardly ever visible.  Even the moments before Fate put on the helmet and bantered with Klarion showed Kid Fate’s ability to interact with others.  The clever words and sharp barbs came so easily and confidently to Kid Fate that it made Wally ache.

 

He began to wonder as he sat with Linda Park if they were friends.  Their banter was similar to the kind that he was used to hearing from Robin and Artemis, and he found himself enjoying it.  He wasn’t as funny as KF or as clever as Fate, but his attempt at humor and small grin had some charm to it.  At least that’s what it seemed like as Linda laughed good naturedly at him like he had seen Robin laugh at KF or Mr. Nelson chuckle at Fate.  There was nothing mean about it and Wally wondered if this was what it was like to be Kid Flash.  Could Linda be to him what Robin was to Kid Flash?

 

_Are we friends, Linda?_

 

Linda nudged him with her elbow and gestured back to his notes.  “Now come on, Einstein, we need to get to work.  I’m not going to pass this biology quiz on my own, that’s for sure.”

 

The smile faded and he nodded in agreement.  _No, you just want to use me.  But that’s ok.  I’m using you too for your kindness, so that makes this ok._

 

“Uh, yeah, ok.” 

 

Wally pressed on with his mini lecture, feeling every bit the nerd that he was.  Later that day he sat in his Uncle Barry’s living room, curled up on the couch and feeling pitiful as he whined to his uncle that Linda didn’t like him, that he had no friends, and that he was lonely.  These things were beginning to eat away at him that it never did before.  For some reason his hope that Linda might like him opened a Pandora’s Box of feelings he didn’t even know that he had. 

 

Barry’s eyes were filled with sympathy and concern.  He gave Wally an encouraging smile as he hugged his nephew and said, “Hey, you still have Robin and your team, they’re your friends.”

 

Barry’s face bloomed into full panic when Wally’s eyes watered that statement.  The feeling that had been building up in him all day left him burning with shame.  He didn’t want to feel it and he desperately wanted it to go away, but now that it was out he couldn’t let it go.

 

Wally envied KF.

 

 

9

 

KF was trying really hard to get Megan’s attention.  Especially after the whole ‘Wally waking up next to Red Arrow’ deal and he could feel the depression rolling off of Wally recently.  Even Fate managed to stop daydreaming about Klarion to comment on it. 

 

_-I am not daydreaming about Klarion!-_

 

He flirted (with no success), tried to be helpful around Mount Justice (though usually he just made a bigger mess), showed off during training (which just made everyone roll their eyes), and tried to get her used to the idea of _Wally_ (why else would he introduce himself to her as Wally, even if it did make him cringe inside).  To make things even worse, he was getting some resistance on the home front.

 

_She won’t like me.  She won’t understand us._

_-The Martian holds no appeal to me.-_

_/No one asked you, Fate.  Wall, of course Megan will understand.  She’s a telepath and good with that mind stuff.  She’ll understand./_

 

He was convinced that Megan would understand Wally.  She would understand that Wally needed Kid Flash to protect him and the need for Kid Fate to keep things in order.  Or whatever it was that Fate did when he was in control.

 

Going over to Mount Justice, KF hoped that Robin would be able to help him.  Robin was his best friend and he liked the fact that Rob almost always called him KF, always by the right name.  They played videogames in Robin’s room as KF tried to smash the controller buttons with one hand, eat his candy bar and pour his (Wally’s) heart out to Robin about Megan.  How right he (Wally) and Megan would be for each other and why didn’t she pay any attention to him?  Conner was hot, that was for sure, but KF wasn’t bad to look at either, or so he told himself and Robin.

 

Robin’s face twisted into a frown and he hit pause on the game to speak with his friend seriously.  “You know that Miss M isn’t interested in you, right?”

 

KF blinked at Robin.  He must’ve misheard.

 

“What?”  Kid Flash asked.  How could Megan not be at least slightly interested in him?  He was cool, confident, super fast, and good looking.  He knew that Megan carried a torch for Conner, but she must have some interest in KF.  She had to.  How else would he get her to meet Wally?

 

The younger teen shifted uncomfortably.  “Look, she mentioned to me earlier that your flirting is beginning to make her a little uncomfortable and that she likes you as a friend, but not like _that_.”  

All he could do was to stare at his best friend and demanded in an outraged voice, “Megan said that?”

 

The Boy Wonder nodded.  “She wanted to me to say something to you.  She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and figured it’d be better for her to hear it from me.”  Robin shrugged, his expression told KF that the younger teen didn’t really follow Megan’s logic.  “Seriously though, I think you drove her away with your bad flirting, I mean, you came on _really_ strong.  Plus she’s totally into Superboy, he’s got that damaged teen angst thing going for him.”

 

Robin’s words rang hollowly in KF’s ears.  It was like the earth had opened up and swallowed him whole.  The fact that Megan wasn’t really interested in him didn’t bother him too much, but the feeling that he had ruined Wally’s chances with Megan devastated KF.  The promise he had made would go unfulfilled and it would only be another one of many disappointments that plagued Wally’s life.  He knew that Megan would be perfect for Wally.  She was so cheerful and kind that she would do away with all of Wally’s insecurities.  She would feed him, tell him how special he is, listen to his ramblings about science, and kiss him sweetly on the cheek every time she saw him.

 

Robin sensed his disappointment, but took it the wrong way.  “I’m sorry, KF, but I guess you can’t really compete with a guy who looks like Superman and is like ‘look at how good I look when I’m angry and need love.’  Girls seem to like that for some reason or at least Martian girls.”

 

_She … She doesn’t like us?_

 

KF’s heart clenched painfully.  Of all the times for Wally to be aware, now was the worst.  Sadness brushed against KF’s conscious before quickly disappearing.  Wally had buried himself away.  KF tried to reach out to him, but all he encountered was Kid Fate, who was irritated by the situation.  Fate was never happy unless they were fighting a certain Lord of Chaos and his cat. 

 

After mumbling something to excuse himself and stomping away towards his room, KF whispered harshly to himself, “If Megan likes insecurity then she’d love the real Wally, if she ever bothered to meet him.”

 

KF didn’t realize that Robin had overheard his mutterings when the Boy Wonder tried to follow him down the hall on silent feet.

 

 

9.5

 

KF stayed at Mount Justice that night because he couldn’t get Wally to come out.  As much as KF loved his parents, it was always a little awkward interacting with them when they thought he was Wally.  He didn’t really want to be at Mount Justice though, not after his conversation with Robin.  There was the urge to call Red Arrow and ask to meet up with him to take the edge off of his emotions, but he couldn’t bring himself to.  Why should he be able to run into the comfort of another’s arms when Wally couldn’t?

 

Things had been fine before the formation of the team.  Kid Flash would pop in when needed and he would hang out with Robin, Speedy and Aqualad on the occasion, but it was never long before Wally would return.  Once the team was formed more of Wally’s time became Kid Flash’s time, then the addition of Kid Fate made Wally’s share smaller and smaller.  While Kid Flash was having fun with his friends and saving the world, and as Kid Fate brought order to magical planes (or _whatever_ ), Wally was bullied and teased at school.  The time that Wally would have spent with his family was now becoming time that Kid Flash and Kid Fate were out doing their own things.

 

It made things more complicated than they had been in the past and he didn’t blame Wally for his sadness or the jealousy and shame KF felt from the other.  It made him feel guilty and those feelings only made him want to get Megan and Wally together, even at the cost of Roy.  There was a sense of relief though that he wouldn’t have to give up Roy and it made him feel like a terrible person.

 

“But I should have a life too,” Kid Flash whispered to himself in the darkness of his room.

 

This was _his_ room.  Except for the section of the closet that Fate had commandeered to store his books on sorcery, a few souvenirs from his own missions and a cat plushie, which KF teased Fate about for _weeks_.  Other than that, the room belonged to Kid Flash.  It had tons of superhero posters, comic books, pictures of his teammates and Red Arrow, and the desk was messy with candy wrappers and materials he used to repair his suit.  The room was chaotic, disorganized and bright.  A far cry from the neatness of Wally’s room, the science fair ribbons, carefully built model planes, school books, and the two posters of the Flash and Green Lantern.

 

KF made sure that the Flash never came into this room or else his uncle and partner would really begin to worry seeing how drastically different Wally West and Kid Flash were.  It was another indication to KF that he wasn’t the same as Wally and they were different people.  It was an indication that KF deserved a life of his own.

 

- _Wally has never denied us that.-_

 

KF frowned and tucked his hands under his head as he laid in bed.  He didn’t really feel like talking to Fate, but he didn’t have much of a choice.  Unfortunately, he couldn’t ask Robin if KF was being selfish by going to see his sort of boyfriend after letting down the person he was closest to.  That person not being Robin and instead being someone who happened to share the same body as him.  KF, Fate and Wally all wanted to avoid everyone thinking that they were crazy, thank you very much.

 

- _It is selfish.  Not because you want your own life, but because you are not dealing with your friend’s disappointment, which you caused, and are willing to run away to comfort yourself.-_

 

/ _What would you know?  You don’t even try to have your own life./_

 

- _I do have my own life.  It is helping to keep the world in order.  Wally has our family, you have your team, and I have Mr. Nelson and Nabu.-_

_/Don’t forget your lover boy, Klarion./_

 

He could taste Fate’s anger, but he chose not to comment.  Fate was right, as much as he hated to admit it.  He was being selfish when Wally was obviously hurt. 

 

Kid Flash was his own person, he had his own life.  He was also Wally’s friend.  He stayed in that night and thought of ways to make it up to Wally later.  While KF stayed at Mount Justice to make his friend feel better, so did Robin.  In the middle of the night as KF continued to stare at the shadows cast by his nightlight, a small, lithe body crawled into his bed and an arm wrapped around his waist.

 

“I don’t know what runs around in that speedster head of yours, but you don’t need her like that.  She doesn’t understand you, but you’ll find someone else who does,” Robin’s voice whispered into KF’s ear.  KF closed his eyes and swallowed, nodding slightly at his friend’s words.  When he didn’t open his eyes right away, Robin nudged him, “Hey, don’t fall asleep while I’m comforting you.”

 

“I’m awake,” Wally answered, his heart pounding as he found himself lying in KF’s bed with KF’s best friend.  He soon relaxed in the loose embrace as his body found it familiar.

 

Robin sat halfway up, his face looking down at Wally’s and the older teen saw that Robin had his sunglasses off.  It was _Dick_.  He was meeting _Dick Grayson._   Once before Wally had briefly met Robin, but Wally had never seen him without his mask or sunglasses in person, it had always been secondhand memories from KF.  Wally froze under the younger teen’s gaze and he wondered if Dick could see him for who he really was.

 

“I know you’re hurt and it’s ok.  Megan doesn’t know what she’s missing and it’s her loss. You’re a great guy, even if you’re a dork and the biggest science nerd ever.”

 

Wally’s heart skipped a beat.  He knew that and still liked KF?

 

“There, I’m done with the cliché feel better speech.  Now come on, I know you want this and I know _this_ is going to make you feel better,” Dick held out his arms expectantly and Wally just blinked.

 

_/Bro hug, Wall./_

 

Getting with the program, Wally sat up and hesitantly slipped his arms around the younger teen before quickly melted into the hug.  He shut his eyes as they began to burn and his pulse raced as Dick held him.  Dick continued to talk, but it all got lost under the surge of emotions running through Wally.  He was sad about Megan’s rejection, he was let down by KF, but he was also thankful that Kid Flash had stepped aside for the moment and let him experience _this_.

 

_Thank you, KF._


	3. Parts 10-13

10

 

There was a lot going on in Wally’s life and it was beginning to worry him.  Sitting at his desk in his room, he chewed on his pencil and looked down blankly at his math homework.  His mind was too occupied to solve for x and y.  The different lives that his personalities lived were becoming complicated and bleeding over into Wally’s.  KF often blamed Kid Fate.  The third person did make Wally’s mind feel a bit crowded, but it wasn’t just Fate.  However, Fate did make things tricky when Artemis caught him putting the helmet back on the shelf, _twice,_ and she apparently went to Kaldur when Fate brushed her off _again_.

 

Then the day before Kaldur approached KF and asked him about using the helmet, about moonlighting as Dr. Fate.  Inside KF was livid, he was angry at Kid Fate for putting them all at risk.  Fate asserted himself, pushed KF out of the way and quietly told Kaldur that the world needed Dr. Fate.  That there were things that Kid Flash couldn’t do that Dr. Fate could to keep the world safe.  Kaldur wasn’t pleased and told him to make an effort to find a new host.

 

Wally’s fingers rubbed at the latest wound his body received from Klarion.  The burn on his arm from a blast was healing slowly, like most injuries he got when Fate took over and Wally had yet to figure out what properties from Klarion’s powers were disrupted his metabolism.  This was the main reason why KF got angry at Fate so much, because KF’s injuries healed before Wally resurfaced, but Fate’s could last for days and KF hated it when Wally was in pain.  Wally liked Fate, he was nice to Wally, but his insistence that magic was real did grate on Wally’s scientific sensibilities.

 

Now Kaldur knew about Dr. Fate, so Kid Fate wasn’t doing Wally any favors at the moment.

 

Kid Flash wasn’t doing much better.  The knowledge of Megan’s rejection sliced through Wally’s heart as he had dared to get his hopes up after KF’s constant reassurance that Megan would love and accept them.  Plus KF’s relationship with Red Arrow was beginning to be a problem that Wally had to confront as well.  The archer kept trying to get a hold of KF by calling Wally’s cell phone and all Wally could do was ignore it and hope that KF would answer it.

 

Wally jumped as Kid Flash’s communicator beeped angrily at him.  Closing his eyes, Wally called out for KF, but the other was hidden away beyond Wally’s reach.  Cautiously, Wally picked it up and answered, knowing that it could be important.  It wasn’t the first time Wally had taken a call for KF, but he was always nervous when he did.

 

“Hello?”  He answered timidly.

 

“Wally?  I apologize if I was interrupting you at home, but I was hoping to speak to you further about Dr. Fate.  Will you meet me tomorrow at Mount Justice after you’re finished with school?”  Wally recognized the voice as being Aqualad’s from KF’s memories.  This would be the first time Wally had ever spoken to him.

 

Wally wanted to say no, but he couldn’t think of a good excuse to get himself, KF or Fate out of talking to Kaldur about Fate’s other activities.  “Um, yeah.  Tomorrow’s good, I guess.”

 

There was a short pause as if Aqualad was considering Wally’s response.  “Wally, are you unwell?  You sound off.”  There was real concern in Kaldur’s tone and Wally couldn’t help wonder if this was what it was like to have friends, to have people other than family worry about him.

 

“I … I’m fine, just, uh, tired.” 

 

Then Wally rushed through a goodbye and turned off the communicator.  His heart pounded and he wondered if he did ok, if Kaldur didn’t know any better and accepted Wally’s explanation.  He feared the possibility of Kaldur finding out just how _different_ Wally was.  As Wally fretted over what could happen the next day, his cell phone began to ring and the initials RH flashed on the screen, telling him that Roy was trying to get a hold of KF again.  Wally just drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as he stared at the offending device.

 

He flinched when he heard his mother’s shrill voice rising at his father and he knew they were getting into another fight.  The phone vibrated again, Roy had left a voicemail.  The phone vibrated a second time, Kaldur sent an message reminding him to meet him at Mount Justice.  His father yelled.  Roy sent a message asking why wasn’t he returning his calls.  Something shattered downstairs.  Kaldur sent another message asking if everything was ok, because he sounded off.

 

Wally turned off the lights in his room, neglecting his schoolwork as he felt a severe headache creeping up on him.  He lied down in bed and was thankful that at least his mind was silent for once.

 

 

10.5

 

Wally didn’t go to see Kaldur the next day at Mount Justice, nor did KF or Fate.  Instead he lied in bed all day with a cool washcloth over his eyes, the lights off, curtains drawn, his communicator and cell phone were off, and the house was blissfully quiet.  His dad was at work and his mom took the day off to take care of him, and she made sure to be extra quiet for her son.  It was nice, there were very few moments in Wally’s life when he was enveloped in silence.

 

His parents were always talking if they weren’t fighting.  There were always visitors at the house, his aunt and uncle, the Garricks, the neighbors, his parents’ friends.  At school teachers lectured all day, students chatted away with their friends, and his bullies would shout their usual taunts at him.  Everyone was always talking.  Even when the people around Wally stopped talking, the people within Wally struck up conversations.  KF never stopped babbling on about his adventures and now his team.  Fate was much quieter, but he sometimes would speak to Wally about random things like different planes of existence, how beautiful Artemis was, how annoying Klarion was, and ‘fates damn it, KF, I am not in love with the enemy.’

 

But when Wally wasn’t feeling well, when one of his migraines crept up on him, everyone was silent.

 

Migraines weren’t uncommon for him and while Wally had several different bottles of pills that were supposed to help, he wasn’t very sure if they made any difference at all.  He figured that his migraines were probably a side effect of KF and Fate.  Having three different people housed in one head had to cause some sort of physical stress.

 

It was odd how things worked out.  Wally had to suffer in order to be free of everything.

 

 

11

 

Kid Fate watched silently with Kent Nelson as Dr. Fate fought against Klarion again.  Klarion was appearing more often, seemingly feeding off of the attention that Dr. Fate gave him.  Either way, Kid Fate answered the call, the tug on his very being to take the helmet and become the Lord of Order.  He continued even after Kid Flash made the silly promise to Aqualad to never appear as Dr. Fate alone.  It made him feel a little guilty though that he was breaking that promise, and while he didn’t interact with the team that much he still respected them.  But this was necessary, Dr. Fate was necessary and anyway, it was Kid Flash’s promise to honor, not his.

 

At the moment KF was berating him for going out again as Dr. Fate, making the day much more unpleasant than it needed to be. 

 

“What’s wrong, kid?”  Mr. Nelson asked, while Kid Fate didn’t talk nearly as much as KF it was rare for him to be silent with Mr. Nelson.

 

“Some people are not happy that I am doing this.”  Fate unconsciously touched his temple.  “It gets harder and harder to justify myself when some people won’t _listen_.”

 

 “I can see why you’re so bullheaded,” Nelson chuckled as he put the pieces together quickly, though the sound was heavy and with very little amusement.  “You really have to stand up for yourself in your own head.”

 

“They are not my competition,” Fate huffed.  _-They are my brothers.  Annoying as one of them may be.-_

Nelson’s smile widened at Fate’s thought.  “But you’re all the same.  Pieces of a whole.”

 

Fate frowned and opened his mouth to say something, but Fate was suddenly dragged away from Mr. Nelson and he blinked in confusion when he found himself staring up at the sky.  He hadn’t been paying attention and had no idea how the Lord of Chaos got the helmet off of Dr. Fate, but the helmet went skidding away as his body hit the earth.  Fate’s first reaction was to get to his feet and to sprint for Dr. Fate’s helmet, because that was what Klarion was after, it had to be.  Suddenly his limbs felt like lead and he found that he couldn’t move.

 

_-This … might be a problem.-_

 

The thought got a rise out of KF, who had been hidden away before.  _/Problem?  What problem?/_

 

Kid Fate didn’t answer as Klarion started walking towards him.  He could see the Lord of Chaos’s lips move, but he couldn’t really hear anything.  Whatever Klarion said though, Kid Fate’s body obeyed on its own and picked itself up and kneeled on the ground.

 

_/Um, stupid question, but why aren’t you **running**!?/_

_-If I could move on my own I would, but we’ve been struck by some sort of spell!-_

 

Before KF could make some remark about magic not being real, Klarion was standing in front of Fate.  Warm hands cupped Fate’s chin and lifted his head so he was staring at his enemy.  A large grin was on Klarion’s face and he spoke, but Kid Fate couldn’t hear anything other than the rush of blood in his ears as smooth thumbs rubbed his cheeks.  His skin felt overly hot from how close Klarion was and while he should have been worried about the helmet, all Fate could think about was the feel of their skin touching.  His breath hitched in his throat as Klarion’s fingertips danced over his lips.

 

_/Oh god!  Bad touch!  Bad touch!/_

 

Fate could feel KF’s growing horror as Klarion began to pet bright red hair as if it were his cat.  He watched in a detached fascination as another command was made and Fate rubbed his cheek into Klarion’s waiting hand like an animal seeking affection from its master.  Fate quickly found that he wasn’t overly fond of the situation himself.This was not as Fate had imagined it, not him kneeling passively as Klarion toyed with him.

_/We are so not going to lose our virginity to this brat!  Get us out of here!  Now!  Now!  Now!/_

_-Damn it, KF, I would if I could!-_

 

Their bickering came to an end when an arrow flew towards Klarion and the Lord of Chaos was forced to jump away from Fate or risk being struck.  Whatever hold Klarion had over Fate was broken and the teen was soon scrambling for Dr. Fate’s helmet, grabbing it before his enemy could even think about taking it.  As he was about to put it on again, Klarion only snarled as he not amused by the fact that they were interrupted.

 

“I didn’t come here to play with the geezer!”  Klarion whined.  “Come on, Teekl!”

 

The Lord of Chaos and his anchor disappeared, leaving Fate to stare at the arrow embedded in the ground.

 

_/Red Arrow?/_

_-Artemis.-_

The blond archer was stomping towards him.  Anger and worry were etched on her features and she looked ready to chew him out.  Fate sighed quietly, Artemis was _always_ mad at him and KF.  Maybe he’d find out one day if she hated Wally just as much.

 

_/Look at what you’ve done!  Artemis followed us you idiot!  I’m getting us out of here!/_

_-Quiet!  Let me handle this!-_

_/Let you handle this!?  No!  We almost got molested by your creepy enemy!  I’m taking control and we are going home!/_

Fate hissed and dropped to his knees again, a hand going to his head as KF fought him for control.  He could hear Artemis shout Wally’s name, running the rest of the distance to him and her hands were on him, searching for injuries.  Fate didn’t answer her, too busy keeping KF at bay.  Curling his body as he struggled with KF, Fate barely registered Artemis pulling him into her arms, her voice frantic.  Her embrace was warm and strong, like he always knew it would be.  However Kid Fate wasn’t in the right mindset to appreciate Artemis’s closeness as he fought with KF and his own emotions.

 

Something like betrayal burned hotly in Fate as he replayed the moment of him kneeling before Klarion again and again in his mind.  For some reason it hurt to think that Klarion wanted his submission and did so underhandedly.  It embarrassed and confused him, especially when Fate knew that he should be content to be in Artemis’s arms and all he could do was think of Klarion.

 

_-This isn’t how I imagined it.-_

 

 

12

 

Most of his team and family accepted that Wally West was an odd kid.  To his family he was a sweet, shy kid, who got a dose of confidence once he put on bright yellow and red spandex.  To his team he was someone not to take too seriously, showing off and flirting at every opportunity, but then he’d spill out a complicated chemical formula like it was nothing.  To Artemis he was stubborn about his faith in science, however was shaken by Mr. Nelson’s death and was determined to help by using the helmet.  Sometimes his behavior was puzzling to the people around him, but Wally was a teenager, prone to moodiness and was trying to find himself, or that’s what they told themselves.  Explaining it in that way made it easier to accept and understand the divisions in Wally’s mind without understanding it at all.

 

It was also tactful.  The people around Wally had tact.  Except for one.

 

While Superboy was standing in his pod, the Genomorphs had obviously forgotten to add into his education how to be polite.

 

KF found that out the hard way.  It happened when Robin had called KF to Mount Justice and the speedster ran there in hopes that there was a mission or Robin wanted to hang out.  Instead the younger teen thrust a homework assignment in KF’s face and begged him to look over it for mistakes while the Boy Wonder had his training session with Black Canary.  A jumble of numbers and diagrams assaulted KF’s vision and his mind couldn’t make any sense of it.  Wally stirred and told him that it was Robin’s physics homework.

 

Giving his friend his best smile, KF plucked the sheet of paper from Robin’s hands and promised to look over it.  Zipping into his room, Kid Flash cleared a spot off on his desk and slapped the paper on the desktop.

 

_/Ok Wall, time to do the science thing./_

_Fine.  Sometimes I think that’s the only reason why you like me._

_/I like you for lots of reasons!  You’re the best person to talk to in this head./_

_-I heard that.-_

_/That’s great, Fate.  So Wall, check Rob’s homework for me?/_

_…Will there be another bro hug at the end?_

_/I’ll make sure there is and it’ll be all yours./_

_Ok, I’ll help._

 

KF grinned and waited for Wally to take over when a loud knock fell on his door.  Telling Wally to stay back for a second, KF answered the door and found Superboy on the other side.

 

“Hey Supey, what’s up?”  KF moved out of the doorway and invited Conner into his room. 

 

He liked Conner and was always happy for the opportunity to hang out with him.  KF would totally flirt with Superboy, if he wasn’t so sure that the clone’s fist would meet his face if he pulled an Artemis, because seriously, ‘Mm, that boy’ indeed.  There was little wonder why Megan liked him so much.  As much as KF would have liked to flirt with Conner, that was the extent of it.  Flirting was just for fun and while Conner’s black hair and blue eyes were nice to look at, to KF they were nothing compared to red hair, perfectly sculpted arms, and hat throwing.

 

_/Mm, that archer./_

_-You might want to pay attention to Superboy, he looks … contemplative.-_

 

“So, what brings you over to my neck of the woods?”  KF grinned, ignoring Fate’s concerned tone.

 

Conner didn’t even hesitate before stating, “You talk to yourself a lot.”

 

 “Wha-What are you talking about?  I don’t talk to myself!”

 

“You talk to yourself a lot when you’re by yourself, you were just doing it.”  Conner paused for a second to think back.  “You always refer to yourself in the third person.  Why?  Isn’t that what insane people do?”

 

KF’s mouth dropped open and then snapped shut with an audible click.  He immediately took back all the positive things he felt towards Conner.  The boy had a bad attitude, no experience in crime fighting, he took Megan away from Wally, and as far as KF was concerned only Dick Grayson could pull off the dark hair and blue eyes look.

 

KF’s heart skipped a beat before it started racing as he thought about Conner’s words.  Considering how often he talked to Wally and argued with Fate, he wasn’t surprised that he might mumble to himself on the occasion.  Apparently he was doing it enough to catch Conner’s attention.  From the look on his friend’s face, KF could just see the wheels turning in Superboy’s head.  The Genomorphs taught Superboy a lot of things and KF could imagine that they taught Superboy that people who talk to themselves were probably crazy.  Those little creatures sitting on Conner’s broad shoulders, whispering to the clone, ‘Oh hey, by the way, if you ever end up on a team with someone who talks to himself that means he’s insane.  You probably don’t want to be a team with someone like that, tell others, expose him, or even better, just snap his neck and put him out of his misery.’

 

What if Conner told Kaldur?  Then Kaldur told Batman?  Then Batman told the Flash?  What if they all thought that he was crazy?  KF’s mind raced with a million possibilities and the one that was most prominent was a reoccurring dream he had where Superboy and Aqualad held him down while Robin, Artemis and Red Arrow stood to the side, watching with disgust.  Then Miss Martian would come with her eyes glowing, her mind reaching out to his and she would mercilessly tear out Wally and Fate, leaving Kid Flash alone and broken. 

 

Like Psimon tried to do. 

 

Like Psimon had nearly succeeded in doing to Fate.  And if the team and the Justice League all thought that Kid Flash was crazy then they’d take any two of them away, or worse, all three and Wally’s body would be left an empty shell. 

 

KF’s fears were seeping into Fate’s and Wally’s conscious and worried them both.

 

_Is … Is Conner going to tell?  Is he going to make Megan get rid of us?_

_/I don’t know.  But he thinks we’re crazy, oh god, what am I going to do?  Oh god, what if he can hear us right now?!/_

 

_-Stop panicking!  Let me deal with the situation.-_

 

KF didn’t even protest, the cold fear that was clawing at him made him step aside without a word.  Conner lifted an eyebrow when KF squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again, sliding into a more confident posture.  Despite the way he held himself, Fate gave Conner a sheepish smile.

 

“You don’t have to be insane to talk to yourself, it’s just something I do,” Fate shrugged.  “It helps me think, especially when I’m doing homework.”

 

Superboy eyed Robin’s physics assignment sitting on the cluttered desk.

 

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell the others, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

 

Conner tilted his head as if analyzing Fate’s words, absorbing the pattern of his speech and the tone of his voice.  Making note of the sudden, but subtle change.  A frown pressed down on Conner’s lips that worried KF and Wally, but Fate stood there and his heart was steady.

 

“Yeah, ok.”  Superboy didn’t look fully convinced.

 

“You know, it’s not cool to call people insane,” Fate added and wondered immediately afterwards if he should have added ‘dude.’

 

Superboy’s expression softened and he had the decency to look uncomfortable with his previous statement.  “Sorry, it’s just, I guess I’m not used to … Yeah, sorry.”

 

“Just don’t make it a habit.”  Fate did his best to give Conner one of KF’s grins.

 

Once Conner was gone, Fate slid away and KF found himself with trembling legs.  Lying down in his bed before he collapsed, KF could feel Wally’s terror and Fate’s apprehension weighing down on him.  Kid Flash didn’t fear much, but the possibility of his friends getting close to the truth and judging him, thinking that he was crazy and separating him from Wally and Fate, terrified him to no end. 

 

 

13

 

“Look at this!  An A minus!”  Linda almost screamed at Wally, shoving her latest biology test in his face.

 

Wally cringed, waiting for Linda to berate him over the fact that it wasn’t an A or an A plus, like the grade on Wally’s test.  He managed to get everything correct, including all of the extra credit.  But there was a large smile on Linda’s face and she was beaming at him.  Her hand grabbed his and she was suddenly dragging him out of the classroom.  Biology was their last class of the day and this was the time of day when Wally would usually be heading home to do his schoolwork.

 

“Um, where are we going?”  Wally managed to ask.

 

“We are going out to celebrate.  I’m going to buy you a shake and a burger,” Linda answered.

 

Wally blinked.  “Why?”

 

Linda lifted an eyebrow.  “Because you’re totally saving my butt in this class and I want to thank you.  It’ll be cool to hang out without having to study.”

 

A flush crept up Wally’s face.  She wanted to hang out with him?  _Are we friends, Linda?_

 

He felt in a daze as Linda hooked her arm with his and she made a comment about the muscle in his limb.  She talked about a lot of things, but for the most part Wally was too lightheaded with the strangeness of the situation to really listen.  Linda wanted to hang out with him.  _Linda Park_ wanted to hang out with _Wally West._   She didn’t want to study, she didn’t want anything from him other than to thank him and to _hang out_ with him.  It was too surreal and Wally felt like he needed to catch his breath.

 

As they exited the school, Linda stopped and whispered to Wally, “Look at the hottie across the street!  He’s staring right at us!”

 

It took Wally a minute to recognize the hottie she was talking about.  He had only seen the boy once with his own eyes.  A handsome, redheaded teen lying in an unfamiliar bed and whispering the name Kid as Wally hightailed it out of the apartment.  It was Roy.  Roy was at his school to see KF.

 

“Is he a friend of yours?”  Linda asked as Roy started crossing the street and all Wally could do was weakly nod.

 

Wally was rooted to his spot, unable to say anything.  He called out to KF, begging for him to come out.  KF was hiding from him and Fate was unwilling to help.

 

_-I am not touching this situation with a ten foot pole.-_

 

Once Roy was close, Linda smiled cheerfully.  “Hi!  I’m Linda Park, I’m a friend of Wally’s.”

 

Roy looked down at where their arms were still joined together and lifted an eyebrow.  “ _Just_ friends?”

 

“Huh?”  Then Linda saw the expression in Roy’s eyes and Wally’s increasing embarrassment.  As a teenage girl, it didn’t take her long to connect the dots.  “Oh!  _Oh!_   Yeah, just friends.  You know, I just remembered that I can’t hang out today.  Maybe tomorrow, Wally?”  She then leaned close and whispered fiercely to Wally, “Tomorrow you have to tell me _everything_ about your dreamboat.”

 

Wally wanted to die as Linda gave them another knowing smile and almost skipped away.  Roy stood at Wally’s side, careful not to touch him, and they slowly began to walk towards Wally’s house.  The blush on his face never left and the silence between them only made it worse.  Wally’s house was blissfully cool and empty, and it gave Wally a bit of room to breathe.  He was safe here, even if Roy was glaring at him as they went up to his bedroom.

 

“Are you seeing other people?”  Roy demanded with a hard edge to his voice once the door to Wally’s bedroom was securely shut.  “Are you seeing that girl?  Linda?”

 

The question was absurd to Wally, because he wasn’t seeing anyone, he wasn’t even seeing Roy.  Wally was so stunned by it, about the possibility that he could be seeing anyone, all he could do was shake his head in denial.

 

The scowl on Roy’s face deepened as he continued, “I know we haven’t said anything about it or really defined what this is, but I want to.  That’s why I came here today.  Kid, I don’t want to just be the person you make out with on a whim, I want to know that you’re mine.  I don’t want teenage girls pawing all over you.  Ever.”

 

_KF?  KF!?  Um, your boyfriend is pouring his heart out to me and I don’t know what to do!_

 

There was no response in Wally’s head other than a sneer from Fate.  _–KF is a coward.-_

 

Roy took Wally’s silence for indifference and started to move away from towards the door after cursing under his breath.  The movement made Wally’s heart stop and he instinctively grabbed Roy’s hand, a gesture to ask him to stay.  He didn’t want KF to be mad at him because Wally made his boyfriend upset.

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Wally admitted, his voicing trembling just a little bit.

 

The archer’s face softened, completely misunderstanding Wally.  “It’s ok, baby.”

 

And then his hands were on Wally’s face and he pressed their lips together.

 

_My first kiss._

 

The older teen was aggressive in the way he attacked Wally’s mouth, but slowed down as he felt the timid way in which Wally parted his lips and reached out with his tongue.  Wally made a curious noise as Roy gently held the younger teen, lowering him down on the bed.  Long legs were quickly tangled with his and calloused hands rested comfortably on his hips.  He tensed when Roy’s hands drifted towards his fly and began to unbutton his jeans.   Wally wondered just how far Roy and KF had gone.  If he asked Roy to stop it might be suspicious, but Wally didn’t know if he wanted Roy to take off his pants.  This was KF’s boyfriend, did he have any right to Roy?  They weren’t interchangeable, were they?  It was too much all at once and Wally could only really focus on one thing.

 

_My first kiss._

Wally didn’t have to say anything though.  Roy felt his nervousness and managed to pull his mouth away from the younger teen.  He seemed surprised by Wally’s reaction.

 

“Wally,” Roy started and then stopped as if he was catching himself in the middle of a bad word.

 

The younger teen looked up at the other with questioning eyes, wondering what he was going to say.

 

“Wally,” he repeated, testing out the name and looked down at Wally, searching for a reaction.

 

He nodded, waiting again for Roy to continue.

 

“Wally,” Roy said for a third time and the younger teen didn’t get it. 

 

“Roy.”  Wally carefully touched his cheek and dared to lift his head up to brush his lips against the older boy’s.  The kiss was soft, hesitant, and unbelievably sweet.  Roy groaned into the kiss and his hands were in Wally’s hair, his touches suddenly gentle and tender.

 

They jumped apart when they both heard the front door of the house opened and closed and Mary called out to her son to let him know that she was home.

 

“Wally,” he said one more time before carefully kissing the speedster and searched Wally’s face again.  Confusion weighed down Roy’s features and it looked like he was ready to say more than just Wally’s name, but Mary West’s light footsteps echoed through the hallway.  Roy was out the window as Wally’s mother opened the door and asked Wally if he wanted a snack.  For once, Wally wasn’t hungry.

 

Long after Roy left, Wally laid on his bed, his eyes wide and his heart still pounding.

 

_My first kiss._

A chuckle rose in Wally’s mind.  _/Did you like Roy?  Did you like him?  We can share him.  I’ll share him with you, Wall./_

_I … I like him … He’s different, but nice.  Today’s been … It’s been a good day._

 

Joy and triumph from KF came pouring into Wally’s conscious.

 

_My first kiss._


	4. Parts 14-17

14

 

Wally touched his forehead and his fingers came back slick with blood.  Looking around wildly, he managed to make his head swim and he saw that he was standing in a darkened version of Kid Flash’s suit.  Wally didn’t understand, he was dazed, there was a slight ringing in his ears, and he had a hard time focusing on what was going on around him.  There was a fire, yelling, some deep booming noises that vibrated through the air, and it was warm despite it being dark outside.  Wally didn’t understand any of it.  Where was KF?

 

“Where’s KF!?”  Someone else was looking for KF too.  Convenient.

 

“He’s over there!  Kid Flash, don’t move!”

 

Wally paused and swayed on his feet as his head lulled to the side as he tried to concentrate.  Did they find KF?  Because Wally really needed to talk to him and tell him to take over.  Wally didn’t want to be there, everything was too loud, too scary.

 

“Oh god, he’s completely out it.”

 

“Miss M, get Kid Flash and take him back to the bioship!”

 

The bioship?  Was that where he’d find KF?  He took a few steps forward, but his legs felt weak and they began to collapse when Wally was suddenly lifted into the air.  Instead of being surprised by floating in midair, all Wally could think about was that his head hurt.  A lot.  There was also a lot of blood on him.  Blood that matted his hair, soaked his cowl and made his skin feel sticky.  He tried to touch the wound again, but a soft, green hand caught his wrist and gently pulled it away from his injury.

 

A beautiful green face that was dotted with sweet freckles filled Wally’s vision and his throat tightened.

 

“Are you Megan?”  The question slipped out of him.

 

“Yeah, Wally, it’s me.”  She sounded so worried about him, it must have been the fact that he was profusely bleeding from the head.

 

“It’s nice to meet you.”  That seemed like the polite thing to say when meeting a pretty girl.  Wally couldn’t think of much else to say, his head hurt too much and he was too nervous.

 

“You know me, Wally, we’re friends, remember?”  Megan tried to remind him soothingly as she laid him down on a comfortable surface.

 

Wally blinked and saw that he was no longer outside.  They were inside, but he didn’t know where.  When did they move?  Were they in the bioship?  Was KF there?  It didn’t matter though, because Megan was tending to him, pressing clean gauze against his still bleeding wound.  Something troubled him, something that was scratching at the surface.  A piece of knowledge that held him back from telling her how nice she was being, how much he appreciated her, how much he liked her.

 

His brow creased as he began to remember.  “You don’t like me.”

 

Megan flinched in surprise, shocked by his statement.  “Of course I like you, Wally!”

 

“You don’t like me,” Wally repeated, his voice getting softer and sadder.  “He said you would, that you’d accept us, but you don’t.”

 

“Who said that?  Wally, I like you, I accept you!”  Megan’s tone held the sharp edge of panic.  Her mind pressed against his, asking permission to look in to see what was wrong, but the thoughts she heard were going too fast for her to understand.  It was like Wally thought at the speed in which he ran and she was unable to keep up.

 

She panicked as his eyes slipped closed for a few minutes and he opened them again the lines of confusion and anxiety were gone from his face, replaced with an easy grin.

 

“Hey Miss M,” KF said tiredly, leaving off his usual variety of nicknames and pickup lines he often said to her.  The echoes of Wally’s sadness were still lingering in his mind.  Swinging his legs over the edge of the table that Miss Martian had created in the bioship, KF sat still to get rid of the dizziness that enveloped him.

 

“Lay back down,” she ordered.  “You took a pretty bad hit to the head.”

 

He waved a hand at her.  “I’m fine and if I remember correctly we are outnumbered, so the team needs all of us to fight.”

 

KF was already moving towards the exit when Miss Martian said, “We’re friends, Wally, we always will be.  Who said I wouldn’t accept you?  Why did you say ‘us’?”

 

Kid Flash’s body stiffened and his shoulders jerked as if struck.  Touching the wound on his head that was already halfway healed, KF gave her a strained and questioning smile.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Megan.”

 

 

14.5

 

“It was weird, I don’t know why he would say that, even if he was confused,” Megan said, her arms wrapping around her own body as if to comfort herself.  “I tried to read his mind in case there was something wrong, but he was thinking too fast and I couldn’t understand him.”

 

Robin leaned back in his chair, listening to Megan’s story.  She was confused and scared for Wally.  She wasn’t the only one who had turn to Robin for advice about Kid Flash.

 

“I don’t know why he’d think that I wouldn’t accept him.”  Megan frowned.  “We’re all friends.”

                                                                                                                                                           

Robin gave Megan his best reassuring smile.  “I’ll talk to him and find out what’s going on in that speedster head of his.”

 

Megan smiled back and was relieved that Robin would take care of things.  “Thanks.  I just wish I knew what I did or how to fix it.  I know!  I’ll go bake him some cookies!”

 

After Megan left to find solutions in a mixing bowl, Robin reflected back on fragments of worries that he had overheard or were expressed to him.  A while ago Kaldur had made mention of KF not meeting up with him because of migraines and of him sounding off.  Artemis vented over a certain speedster moonlighting as the Lord of Order and was getting hurt.  He had heard the Flash ask Batman and Black Canary if KF seemed depressed while he was with the team or on missions.  Conner had asked Megan about people talking to themselves and when she asked why he was wondering about such things, Robin had seen Conner’s eyes shift quickly to Kid Flash before saying that it was nothing.  Just last week Roy seemed especially interested if Robin was allowed to call Kid Flash by Wally and if Robin had ever been to the West household before.  Now Megan was concerned by odd words murmured by Kid Flash during a mission.

 

Even Robin had encountered an odd moment or two with his best friend.

 

_“If Megan likes insecurity then she’d love the real Wally, if she ever bothered to meet him.”_   Those words stuck with Robin ever since KF muttered them while storming away, hurt by Megan’s rejection.

 

_The real Wally_.  Who was that exactly?  Robin thought that he knew, but what did he know about Wally’s personal life other than the Flash is his uncle, he loves his Aunt Iris a lot and he lives with his parents?  Who was Wally West when he wasn’t being Kid Flash?

 

Fragments.  That’s all Robin really knew in the end.  He only knew fragments of his best friend.

 

 

15

 

_-Look at what you’ve done.-_

 

Kid Fate stared down at the notebook Wally left in KF’s room at Mount Justice.  In the margins of notes for a science class were doodles of bows, arrows and hats.  In a different, nicer handwriting were hearts that said ‘Wally + Roy’ and ‘Wally Harper’ along with ‘Linda + Kid Flash’ in the same handwriting.

 

_/Wall’s happy and that’s all that matters./_

_-This is foolish, Red Arrow will catch on!  And it seems rather convenient that you’ve set Wally up with your boyfriend instead of finding him a girlfriend.  It seems that someone does not have to breakup with Red Arrow now.-_

_/Hey!  Don’t knock it if it works!_

Fate sighed to himself.  _-Wally does seem more cheerful as of late.-_

Fate could feel KF’s smugness and decided to ignore him.  He had other things to take care of, such as the wounds he received in his latest fight.  This time he managed to come and go undetected, mostly because he asked for KF’s help to quickly steal the helmet and to replace it.  All of them could use super speed, but KF was the one with the most control over it.  Wally and Fate were more likely to run into walls and to hit the ground, with Wally being the most accident prone of the three of them.

 

Touching a deep, but healing bruise that wrapped around his wrist, Fate recalled watching as Klarion had gotten close enough to grab Dr. Fate.  The Lord of Chaos’s grip was hard on his wrist, making Fate cringe while Mr. Nelson placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him.  Klarion looked Dr. Fate in the eyes and stared.  Stared past the helmet and at Kid Fate.  Klarion knew he was in there somewhere.  Thinking about it made Fate’s heart pound and a flush of embarrassment crept up his face.  Klarion was looking at _him_.

 

Fate gripped the cat plushie he took out from his corner of the closet.

 

_/Hey, Fate … it’ll be … it’s … it’s ok./_

He closed his eyes.  His moping must have been bad if KF was trying to comfort him.

_/You know what?  Now that I think about it, Artemis isn’t that bad.  You should totally go out with her and I’ll even teach you how to flirt!  In the meantime you know what would make you feel better—/_

_- **No**.  I am not going to get together with your boyfriend.-_

_/But Red Arrow makes everyone feel better!  Did I ever tell you that thing he does with his tongue and my—/_

_-Only a million times!  You just want to set me up with him to keep me from seeing anyone else so it won’t cause problems with Red Arrow!-_

_/It’s not my fault if Red Arrow is a superior choice to Little Miss Green Arrow Clone!/_

 

Both of them ended their bickering when Fate heard footsteps in the hallway.  Ever since Superboy had caught KF talking to Wally all three of them kept their ears out for people coming by the room.  Not wanting to take any chances, Fate stashed away his plushie, turned off the light and slid into the bed, throwing the covers over himself.  He didn’t answer when there was a knock on the door and he forced himself not to tense as the door quietly swings open.  Feathery light footsteps crept across the floor and Fate became more than aware that someone was right at the bed.

 

_/It’s Rob.  No one else can move like that./_   KF whispered as if Robin might hear him.  Neither of them would have been surprised if Robin did.

 

Fate couldn’t help but shift his body as Robin’s fingers glided over his wrist and he realized that he left his bruised wrist exposed.  A cool draft hit his body when Robin carefully peeled back the blanket before carefully tucking it back in against Kid Fate.  There was no doubt that Robin saw some of Fate’s other injuries.  The visit wasn’t very long and soon the Boy Wonder was gone.

 

_-He’s been watching us closely.-_

_/Rob?  No way!  He’s just being a friend.  He’s been a little concerned after the whole explosion, hitting my head and Wally coming out incident thing.  No big deal./_

_-I guess you’re right.  It’s probably nothing.-_

 

KF was satisfied.  Fate was not.

 

While Kid Fate was the strong one and Wally was the smart one, Kid Fate was the one with the best instincts.

 

 

15.5

 

Fate uncurled from the darkness of unawareness when KF called out to him and told him frantically to take over.  Without hesitation, Fate floated up to consciousness and opened eyes that were shut tightly.  The sight that greeted him was not one of urgency or chaos, but rather of an older teen kissing his way down Fate’s bare chest as he was sprawled out on a bed in a vaguely familiar apartment.

 

_-Damn it, KF!-_

 

A snicker tickled the back of his mind and he was sure he could even hear Wally’s suppressed giggles.  True humiliation at its finest.  At least his pants were still on.

 

Throwing an arm over his eyes, he let out a quiet groan of disbelief right as Red Arrow’s teeth grazed one of his nipples.  The groan turned into a sharp gasp of surprise.

 

“Sensitive?”  Fate could hear the grin in Red Arrow’s voice.

 

“Mm-hm,” he hummed and squirmed when Red Arrow bit down on his skin.

 

He did his best to relax.  He might as well enjoy what he could.

 

“You seem tense today, Kid.”

 

“A little.”  _-Because someone suddenly threw me at their boyfriend!-_

 

Fate tensed even more when Red Arrow flipped the younger teen onto his stomach and straddled his waist.  He was about to snap at Red Arrow and demand what he was doing when strong hands rubbed his back gently, then pressed down against a knot that had formed in his muscles.  His eyes fluttered shut and he couldn’t suppress the pleased moan that rose from the back of his throat as Red Arrow worked out all the sore spots on his back.

 

_-Maybe Red Arrow really does make everyone feel better…-_

 

 

16

 

Recently Wally had been walking part of the way home from school with Linda.  She started walking home with him because she wanted to know about Wally’s boyfriend, she wanted to talk about their biology class, she wanted to start studying with him for their upcoming math test even though they both know she’ll ace it, she wanted to vent about her friends, she wanted to discuss how dreamy Kid Flash is, and she wanted to know since Wally was obviously gay (though he’s not sure of it himself) if he thought Kid Flash was just the hottest?  (After Roy, of course.)

 

It was nice to have company, to have someone to talk to, even though Linda did most of the talking and Wally doid most of the listening.  But there was so little going on in Wally’s life that he never has much to say, so he contented himself with listening to Linda.  He liked to hear about her life, it was so full and active.  If he heard about her life then maybe he could bask in her warmth and make part of it his own.

 

_Are we friends, Linda?_

 

He didn’t ask it out loud as it might burst the bubble he had been living in.

 

There was also a practical side to walking with Linda.  It kept the bullies at bay.  While Linda wouldn’t be able to fight one of Wally’s bullies, she was feisty and vocal.  If someone laid a hand on Wally, then every adult within a mile radius would hear about it and Linda would have a list of names and photos of every suspect in the area.  But Linda didn’t walk home with him every day and today was one of those days.

 

“I’m going to my friend’s place.  I’ll see you tomorrow!”  She lifted her hand in a wave and ran off in the opposite direction.

 

Wally clutched the strap of his backpack and started walking home at a brisk pace.  It was not long before his arm was yanked painfully and he was being thrown to the ground as laughter filled the air.  Instinctively, Wally threw up his arms to shield his face, squeezed his eyes shut and waited for it to be over.  There was a short shout, the sound of a struggle and then nothing happened.

 

Peeking out from behind his arms, Wally saw a slender hand held out to him and a dark haired boy with sunglasses.

 

_Dick?  Did you come here to protect me?_

 

He squashed that thought down.  Dick was obviously there to see KF.

 

Wally took Dick’s hand and let the younger boy help him up.  He hesitated in calling for KF, mainly because he liked Dick and he wanted to see the other teen firsthand.  He reveled in the warmth of the contact of the other teen’s hand in his own.  Still it would have been safer if KF took over, but by the time Wally had decided on that, Dick had already started talking to him.

 

“Why weren’t you defending yourself?”  Dick demanded.

 

Wally shrank back and withdrew his hand from Dick’s.  “I … I don’t … I don’t want to accidently hurt anyone.”  Straightening up a little, Wally added, “And I can take it.  I heal really fast, don’t I?”

 

Dick frowned, but he didn’t say anything.

 

“Why are you here?”

 

The younger teen shrugged.  “I was sent out here on an errand and I had some extra time to kill.”

 

“We should hang out then!”  The words and the enthusiasm came out as a surprise to Wally himself, but they were sincere. 

 

A smile broke out on his face when Dick nodded in agreement and followed him back to his house.  It would be a little bit until his parents came back home from work, enough time to show Dick around and do whatever it was that friends did together.

 

Dick didn’t say much as Wally gave him the grand tour, but he seemed particularly interested in his room.  The Boy Wonder poked around his science fair ribbons, an old worn teddy bear tucked halfway under his pillow, his books ranging from astronomy to zoology and the model planes and space shuttles he spent many lonely hours building.  He held his breath as Dick went through his personal space, a reflection of his curiosity and shyness.

 

“Your room is different from the one you keep at Mount Justice,” Dick commented.

 

“Uh yeah, you know, my mom likes it if I keep the place clean.”  Wally straightened out a pillow on his bed as if to make a point.

 

“Uh huh.  I knew you were good at science, but not this good.”  A wave of the hand gestured to all of his first prize ribbons.

 

“Yeah, I like to compete.  I was actually thinking of joining Science Olympiad at my school.  Maybe we could make it to the nationals and meet other students who like science just as much as me.”  His voice picked up in speed as he grew increasingly excited at the thought.

 

“Why didn’t you?”

 

Wally’s shoulders visibly slumped.  “Kid Flash stuff.”

 

Dick lifted an eyebrow and remained silent.

 

“Hey, did you want to play videogames or something?”  Because that’s what friends did, right?  “You know, hang out?”

 

A small smile curled up on Dick’s face.  “Yeah, sure.”

 

Wally grinned and brushed the dust off of his X-Box before handing Dick a seldom used second controller.  It was exciting to have someone over, to have someone who wanted to be around him.  He knew he should call KF, but he was having too much fun with Dick once the other boy relaxed and nudged Wally in the side, telling him that he was going to beat him at the racing game they were playing.  It did make Wally feel a little guilty as he was already borrowing KF’s boyfriend and now he was borrowing KF’s best friend.  But sometimes those were the things that Wally looked forward to the most, the borrowed bits of KF and Fate’s lives.

 

_Sorry KF, but I’m going to borrow your friend for awhile.  I just … I just want to know what it’s like._

 

 

17

 

“You’ve been happier lately,” Uncle Barry observed as he and Wally watched TV at the Allen household.  “I’ve also noticed that Robin comes by more often and not to go on patrol.”

 

“Oh yeah, we’ve been hanging out!”  Wally answered brightly.  “I mean, outside of hero stuff.  You know, like we’re really friends.”  His tone becomes wistful at the thought.

 

Barry frowned a little, “Of course you two are friends … And you’re _just_ friends, right?”

 

Wally blinked stupidly.  “Yeah, what else would we be?”

 

“I just … You know what?  I’m just happy that you aren’t depressed anymore.  Whatever is making you smile so much, I’m glad it’s in your life.  You were worrying me there for awhile.”

 

“Well, I’m not that lonely anymore.”

 

Wally stood in KF’s boots every once in awhile and it did wonders for his mood.  Even Linda made a comment about how much he smiles these days.  It was mostly from the little moments when he’s wrapped in Roy’s arms and the afternoons when Dick appeared outside of his school and spent an hour or two with him before his parents came home.  He didn’t dwell on the fact that he was just piggybacking off of KF’s established relationships, that none of it belonged to him.

 

There was a little spark of hope though when he was with Dick.  For the last couple of weeks they’ve talked about things outside of crime fighting when they were alone in his room.  They talked about the things that made Wally who he was and Dick readily accepted him.  Even when Wally told him about all of his doubts and insecurities, about his bullies, about being unsure if he and Linda were friends, about being a nerd, about his parents fighting, about being so afraid of his PE class that he got it waived after the first day of school, and after all that Dick accepted him.  And it was wonderful, it was more than Wally could hope for and he drank it in.  Dick’s acceptance was even better than when Roy cradled his face in his hands and kissed him so softly that it made his knees weak.

 

KF was cheered over the fact that Wally was so happy and Fate was adamant that Wally be careful with what he told Dick.

 

_-We are different people.  Robin may catch on when others do not.  We have already attracted a lot of unnecessary attention.-_

_/Oh my god, Kid Killjoy, just let Wall have fun!/_

 

“I’m happy,” Wally beamed and Barry smiled right back at him.

 

“Good, because my partner deserves to be happy.” 

 

Wally shrieked with laughter when Barry’s fingers met his sides to tickle him and Iris marched into the living room to tell Barry to leave the poor boy alone before they broke something.

 

He came back home to a quiet house after dinner with his aunt and uncle.  His parents went out for dinner and wouldn’t be back for awhile.  Wally didn’t really care for being at the house alone, but his mood lifted when he saw that he had a visitor.  Sitting on his bed was Dick, his sunglasses discarded and his legs were neatly folded as he waited for Wally.

 

“Dick!”  Wally’s smile couldn’t get any bigger.

 

Dick didn’t return his smile and a small frown bent his mouth downward as he pressed his lips together.

 

Wally’s smile dropped and was quickly replaced with a look of concern.  “Are you ok?”

 

He reached out to touch Dick’s arm, to try to do something that would make his _friend_ feel better, but on a second thought he withdrew his hand.  Making physical contact was still a hard thing for Wally to do.  It was becoming more natural with Roy, but he was unsure if he had that kind of friendship with Dick.  The younger teen noted his hesitation and watched as Wally retracted his hand.

 

“Are you ok?”  He repeated.

 

Dick’s frown deepened and his brow creased in thought.  “I’ve thought it over a lot.  From what I’ve seen, what I’ve …” He paused and struggled with what was running in his mind.  “There’s no other conclusion that I can come up with.  There’s nothing else that I can think of.”

 

With one simple sentence, Dick effectively shattered Wally’s world.

 

“You’re not KF, you’re not my friend.”


	5. Parts 18-21

18

 

“You’re not KF,” Dick said again.

 

Wally took an unconscious step backwards and managed to weakly shake his head.  He was scared and his emotions were beginning to make KF and Fate stir in the back of his conscious.  “No, I’m … I’m Kid Flash, I’m Wally West.”

 

Dick frowned as he worked his way through his thought process, through his hypothesis about what was wrong with his best friend.  “I thought that maybe you were just different at home, that maybe you were so different here because I thought maybe you were being abused.”

 

Wally’s eyes widened at the ridiculousness of the thought.

 

“The odd behavior, your injuries that didn’t come from training or missions, the reluctance to defend yourself and you’re so withdrawn here, so shy and unsure of yourself.  I can see that you’re not, that your parents love you.  I almost wish—No, no, I don’t …” Dick trailed off and he hopped off the bed, taking a step towards Wally.  “The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it wasn’t just that you were more withdrawn and quieter, from your behavior I realized that you weren’t KF at all.  What really tipped me off is that you call me Dick all the time, never Rob or Robin.  KF never calls me Dick, even when we’re alone, and he would never let me call him Wally.  You wouldn’t know that though, would you?”

 

No, he wouldn’t.  “I’m … I’m Wally West.”

 

“I know.”

 

Wally let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“You’re the real Wally West,” Dick said faintly to himself, repeating the words he had heard from KF.  “You’re a normal, smart and shy kid, and pretty much have been all your life.  That much I have confirmed.  But Wally West isn’t Kid Flash and Kid Flash isn’t Wally West.”

 

What was there to say when Dick was so utterly right?  Hearing someone else say it made Wally tremble and he just wanted to crawl into his bed and ignore the world around him.  He didn’t want to see Dick and his accusing eyes.

 

“So tell me this, Wally West, who or what is KF?”

 

Wally’s breath hitched and he squeezed his eyes shut only to open them again a second later.  Kid Flash stood in front of Dick now and the Boy Wonder easily noted the change in posture and the change of expression from scared to angry and defensive.

 

“Dude!  Did you just call me a _what_!?”

 

“Kid Flash.”

 

“ _Dude._   You just called me a what!  Not cool!”  KF was already mad over the way Robin was talking to Wally and then to be called a _what_ like he wasn’t a real person was the final straw.

 

“I’ll give you this chance to explain yourself.  Who are you?”

 

“ _This chance_?  What the hell, Rob!?  I’m not a damn suspect that you can interrogate!  We’re friends and teammates!”  KF waved his arms around angrily as if that would make his point.

 

“I need to know that you’re not a threat.”

 

“ _A threat_!?”

 

KF was about to yell at his friend some more when he finally noticed the look in Dick’s eyes.  He could see the betrayal in Dick’s eyes, he had shared everything with KF and KF had been keeping secrets from him.  KF could easily remember only a year ago when Robin had drawn him off into an abandoned building under the pretext of using it to train.  There wasn’t another soul around and when KF had turned to ask Robin what he wanted to do, he found himself staring into bright blue eyes, he found himself staring at Dick Grayson.  Just by taking off his mask Robin had shared everything with KF, his identity, Batman’s identity, his joyous and tragic past.  Everything about Robin had been laid out in front of KF without ceremony.

 

He owed Robin the same.

 

The anger slipped from his body and took a deep breath.

 

_-There will be no turning back from this.-_

_/Dude, we’re already screwed.  Let’s just hope that he hasn’t said anything to Batman yet./_

 

“You can’t tell anyone, like I’ve never told anyone you’re Dick Grayson.  This is my secret and I’m telling you, because we’re best friends, right?  Right.  I’m not Wally,” KF admitted.  “I’m not, but we used to be one, I think.  I mean, I don’t know how this really works out, but after Wally’s lab experiment he didn’t just get super speed, he got me too.  We’re different people and we do different things.  I’m Kid Flash, I do the hero stuff, Wally does the home and school thing, and Kid Fate does the fighting Klarion gig.”

 

Dick’s eyes went wide.  “Kid Fate?”

 

“Uh, yeah.  He showed up after Mr. Nelson died and the whole Dr. Fate thing.  He’s kind of stuffy and weird, but Fate can be pretty cool.  So, um, yeah.  We’re all here.”  KF tapped the side of his head.  “We’re kind of like brothers and we take turns using Wally’s body, though I guess the body belongs to all of us, I think.  You know, I’ve never had to explain this before.  Mr. Nelson knows, but we never had to explain.  He just sort of knew, seeing our soul and all.  You get what I mean, right?”

 

“There’s more than one of you,” Dick said with growing unease.  “Multiple personalities.”

 

“Hey!  I’m more than just a personality, I’m a person who happens to have some roommates in a body.  When you say personalities it makes me sound crazy.”  KF grinned and waited for Robin to laugh or to say otherwise, but the Boy Wonder remained silent.  The grin began to slip from KF’s face.  “I’m not crazy … I’m just … Different, right?”

 

“KF,” Dick finally spoke up.  “Maybe you should … Maybe we should go take you to see J’onn.”

 

“What?  Why?”  The suggestion chilled KF right down to the bones.  The thought of J’onn poking around his mind, searching for Wally and Fate made his heart beat just a little faster.  Then all he could think about was of J’onn ripping them out and it would be empty, so empty without them.

 

“He might be able to help—”

 

“No!”  Fear began to creep into KF’s voice.  He didn’t want the help that a telepath could give.  He already _knew_ what telepaths could do.  The emptiness had been unbearable, a great hollow space that had been carved out of his conscious and the continuous clawing at it, wondering what had been there.  KF had experienced it once and he couldn’t bear to experience it again.

 

“KF,” Dick started to say, but he stopped when he saw that he was no longer talking to Kid Flash.

 

Wally reappeared in front of Dick and he whispered, “You don’t accept us.”

 

 

19

 

During the team’s mission in Bialya, the team had all lost their memories of the past six months.  For most of them it meant not remembering being a part of the team.  For Superboy it meant having no memories at all and reacting purely on primal instinct and rage.  For Kid Flash it meant that someone in his crowded mind went missing.  Psimon had reached into their minds and had torn out their memories of the past six months.  The memories of Dr. Fate, Mr. Nelson, Klarion, and of _believing_ were all gone.  So was Kid Fate.

 

KF, Fate and Wally could still remember the horrible feeling of Psimon invading their head and seeing into them in a way very few ever had before.  Of terrible eyes peering at them and that lit up in glee at seeing the cracks in their consciousness.

 

_“What a delightfully broken child the Justice League has!”_  Psimon’s excitement made KF’s stomach churn.  _“How wonderfully fragmented you are!  I could spend days forcing your mind back together only to break it into smaller pieces over and over again.  What fun we would have!  But unfortunately we don’t have time to play.  It’s time to forget.”_

 

The terror that was growing in KF as he stood there in the desert was replaced with confusion as he forgot the last six months of his life.  The confusion fell away for an awful feeling of emptiness, that something was missing other than his memories.  The emptiness nearly overwhelmed him along with his hunger, exhaustion and confusion.  A feeling that he was missing _someone._ It was no small miracle that he didn’t go insane right there in the middle of the desert.

 

As he met Artemis (again), made sure that she was alright and flirted with her to ease his nerves, he kept calling out to Wally to make sure he was ok.  To make sure he was still there.

 

_I’m fine_ , Wally reassured him.  _But something is … Something is wrong with us … I feel … I’m … Empty and scared._

_/You feel it too, huh?  Well, you lay low and I’ll figure out what’s going on here./_

 

KF wasn’t the one who figured everything out though, it was the pretty green Martian who recovered their memories.  Thankfully she didn’t look too far into his head and that Wally was hidden in the far reaches of the mindscape, or else Miss Martian would have seen the cracks along their psyche.  She would have noticed that there was more than one person in Kid Flash’s head.  But she was too distracted in trying to recover their memories and too focused on Superboy.

 

The horrible empty feeling disappeared once their memories were restored.  Kid Fate returned to his rightful place beside Kid Flash and Wally.  The space that had been hollowed out and was driving KF to the brink of madness trying to figure it out was filled with Kid Fate.  It was a small taste of what could be.  If Wally had been taken too, KF wasn’t sure what he would have done.  The emptiness would have been greater and the cool that KF managed to maintain during the mission would have been unattainable.  He realized then that Wally and Fate weren’t just good company, they were essential.  KF needed them and they needed KF.

 

_Oh god, I can’t believe … I can’t believe that we … We **forgot** and you were **gone**.  Oh Fate, please don’t leave again.  Don’t ever leave again.  I’m sorry, I’m so sorry we forgot.  The emptiness without you, I should have known._

The force of Wally’s emotion shook KF and he knew that if Wally had control he would be sobbing.  It took all of KF’s concentration not to just breakdown himself.  The horrid emptiness that had clawed at him and the confusion had been hard, but the knowledge that one of them had _disappeared_ without a trace and no one noticed scared KF more than anything.  He was scared how easy it had been.

 

Psimon had almost wiped out Kid Fate completely.

 

It had been so easy.  It was probably something than any telepath could do.  Like J’onn.  Or Megan.

 

_-No one can find out.-_   Fate’s voice was strong and urgent.  _–No one can find out or this is what they’ll do to two of us.  Neither of you should have to experience this.-_

_/What … What was it like?/_

_-I … I can’t … I just want to forget.-_

 

So when all three of them saw that Dick didn’t accept them, fear ran through their body.  The fear that what had happened in Bialya would happen again, but worse.  It would be so much worse to have J’onn there, invading their head and forcibly removing two of them as their friends and family watched.  There was only one coherent thought from all of them.

 

_-Run.-_

_/RUN!!!/_

_Run!_

 

Wally, who had been standing before Dick, turned on his heels and ran.

 

 

20

 

Wally wasn’t really sure where he was going.  All he knew was that he was running faster than he ever dared to go and that it was dark outside.  He was going so fast that he wasn’t even sure if he knew how to stop.  But he didn’t really want to stop, he wanted to keep running, to put more distance between him and Central City.  To put more distance between him and Dick’s inability to accept him.  To accept all of them.

 

_/Wall!  You’ve never run this fast before!  Stop!  Let me take over!/_  KF tried to take over and he almost succeeded, breaking Wally’s concentration.

 

While KF’s control over having super speed was still developing, his control was by far the best out of the three of them and Wally’s was the worst.  The sharp pain through his head of KF trying to take over broke the little control Wally had over his speed.  That, combined with the slickness of the road from a light drizzle, caused him to trip over his own feet and soon he was falling.  He fell down into deep ditch off the side of the road and his leg struck the concrete barrier at the top of the ditch at a high speed. 

 

There was a fuzzy, half shared memory that struck Wally as he tumbled down into the ditch.  He remembered secondhand of Kid Flash coming home late without calling their parents.  Mary West had scolded Kid Flash and exclaimed that she was so worried about him, that she imagined that he was alone somewhere, injured and lying in a ditch.  KF had laughed and told their mother that he was too fast for ditches.  Obviously he was not.

 

It took a few minutes for Wally to recover from his shock and to realize that white hot pain was coming from his leg.

                        

_-It’s broken!  Reset the leg now!-_

 

This time KF took over without any protest from Wally and he managed to sit up to try to reset the broken bone.  But between the time the bone had been broken and KF had taken over it had already started healing and it was too late.  The bone was healing incorrectly and the leg was useless.

 

“Fuck!”  Kid Flash swore in pain and frustration, falling back down against the wet ground.  “Fuck!  Fuck!  Fuck!”

 

_-Break it and reset it.-_

 

“You fucking break and reset it, bossy son of a bitch!”  KF shouted, angry and scared.  Tears stung his eyes and he held back the urge to scream.  It didn’t matter if he managed to crawl out of the ditch and find help, because Dick _knew_.  He knew and he’d tell someone and everything KF had feared would come true.  “Goddamn it!”

 

KF lied silently on the ground, his body was seized with a light shiver from the cold and pain, and there was a grumble in his stomach from the extra energy burned from running and healing.  He seethed over the fact that he shared such valuable information with Robin and it had blown up in his face.  He was mad that he didn’t listen to Fate and rein Wally in when it came to contact with Dick.  There were so many things he could have done to prevent all of this, but he had been too arrogant not to.  Too confident that he could make things work and that he could make Wally and Fate happy by sharing in the life he had.

 

_KF, Fate, I’m … I’m … I’m so sorry … All of this is … it’s my fault.  Everything is my fault …_

_/Wall …/_

_Everything.  From the beginning.  If I hadn’t … If it wasn’t for my stupid desire to be like the Flash and setup that experiment we wouldn’t be like **this.**  The stupid thought that I could be someone.  I don’t regret having you two with me, but I’m sorry for the pain and trouble that I’ve caused.  I hope that if they take two of us, that one of them is me …_

_-Wally, no …-_

_/Oh god, Wall, no, it’s not—/_

_If I wasn’t selfish and had just stayed away from Dick like Fate said, he would never know.  I just, I just wanted to know what it was like._

_-Wally, this would have happened sooner or later.  They were all beginning to suspect.-_

_/Wow, way to cheer everyone up, Fate.  Wall, we’ll … We’ll be …/_

_-No, we won’t.  Either we all die here or two of us die when the Justice League finds us.-_

_/What the hell, Fate!?  Aren’t you supposed to be all magic and believing and all that shit?/_

_-Believing does not mean delusional.-_

_/Things can still work out!  Maybe Rob won’t say anything.  He’s my best friend.  He wouldn’t, he can’t …/_

_-This is something he cannot ignore.  He will think of the team first, he will tell Batman and the Justice League will make M’gann or the Manhunter take out two of us.-_

KF didn’t respond and neither did Wally.  Fate was right.  They would either die in a ditch together or someone would find them and two of them would be gone.  Whatever happened there was a bleak outcome waiting for them.

 

 

20.5

 

Robin typed frantically at Mount Justice’s main computer in the control room, hacking into its main server and into satellites to get images of the area where Kid Flash’s com-link was located.  He was afraid that Wally had thrown away the com-link after he ran away from Robin.  After Wally had ran away, Robin tried waiting for his friend to come back, and then he called a few places where he might be, the Allen household, Roy’s place, and Mount Justice, but found nothing.  He would have to find his friend the fun way, by hacking things.  Wally’s cell phone was still in his backpack, sitting in the front room of his house, so the com-link was his only hope.

 

The GPS on the com-link had been in the same spot for a few hours now and it seemed more and more likely that Wally or one of the others had tossed it aside.  Robin was having a hard time trying to get any images of his friend, so he surveyed the area for clues.  Then one stuck out, glaring at him like a beacon of hope and some concern.

 

“I think I found you, Kid Personalities,” Robin muttered.  “Just stay put, KF, we’re not done talking.”

 

There was a busted concrete barrier on the side of the road, right next to where the com-link was giving off its signal.  It wasn’t much to go by, but he had to check it out since he didn’t have anything else to go by and he didn’t want to alert anyone to KF’s absence.  Leaving the computer, Robin made a detour to the kitchen and raided the cupboard with all of KF’s snacks he brought out to the field.  If anything happened to his friend, he would need some food and Robin’s belt had a couple empty compartments for them.

 

“Robin, what are you doing?”  Megan asked as she saw Robin taking several of Kid Flash’s snacks.

 

“Just borrowing some food from KF,” Robin lied smoothly.  “He won’t mind, he owes me.  Got to go, Batman’s expecting me!”  And Robin did what he did best, disappear.

 

Megan paused and then headed towards the Mount Justice’s control room where Robin had come out from, and found that Robin had carelessly left his tracking program and satellite images up.

 

 

21

 

A masked face greeted Fate when he opened his eyes.  The situation became too much for KF to deal with on his own, so Fate took over the burden.  He was shivering against the coldness from the consistent drizzle of rain that had yet to let up, weak from hunger and in pain whenever he shifted his leg.  Before Fate could say anything the Boy Wonder took off his cape and wrapped it around him, giving him a weary smile.

 

“I’m assuming by the awkward way your leg is lying that it’s broken.  You certainly know how to get yourself into trouble,” Robin teased, but there’s little mirth in his voice.

 

“You do not know the half of it,” Fate grumbled out, his hands clinging onto the cape.

 

Sitting back on his heels, Robin cocked his head to the side and observed the boy in front of him.  “Ah, you must be Kid Fate.”

 

“That’s what they call me.”

 

Fate made a small startled noise as Robin carefully pulled him up in an upright position, moving behind of him to support his upper body.  The younger teen wrapped his arms around him in a hug from behind and rested his chin on Fate’s shoulder.  Fate couldn’t help but blush a little at the contact, he never touched people very often.  Wally had their family and KF had his group of friends and boyfriend.  Though he has come in contact with Roy, Artemis and Klarion, for Fate there had been no equivalent in his short life and it made moments like this a little awkward.  Still, he found it kind of nice in a way that he appreciated differently than the others.

 

“You really aren’t KF or Wally,” Robin chuckled a little.  “Neither of them is ever this tense when I hug them.”

 

Fate just grunted in annoyance.

 

“I didn’t tell anyone,” Robin finally said after a stretch of silence.

 

“Why?”  The word came out with hostility and a bit of distrust. 

 

Robin stiffened at Fate’s tone.  “Because I don’t want to hurt my best friend.”

 

“You don’t accept us.”  Fate remembered the conversation well enough.

 

“Hey, you just kind of threw that at me!  I was in what you would call shock!  It’s not every day that my best friend tells me ‘Hey, I’ve got two other people in my head and I promise I’m not evil.’  Give a guy a minute to _adjust_.”

 

“You wanted us to go to the Martian Manhunter.”

 

“Again, in shock.  What else was I supposed to think?”

 

It seemed too good and Fate was immediately suspicious.  “And you’re ok even if your best friend shares a body with two other people?”

 

“As long as KF is ok and you guys aren’t hurting each other,” Robin sighed.  “I … I don’t think it’s healthy though, whatever it is that caused you to split up like you did.  But I can’t risk it,” The younger teen sighed again and pressed his face into Fate’s shoulder and tightened his grip on the older boy.  “It’s selfish, but I don’t want to risk losing KF … or Wally.”

 

“You care about both of them.”

 

“I care about you too.”

 

Fate tensed even more.  “You don’t know me.”

 

“You’re a part of KF and Wally, that’s all I need to know.  I can keep it a secret for now and we’ll figure out something together.”  The boy was clinging onto Fate so tightly that he was surprised that he could still breathe.  “We don’t need to go to J’onn or anyone right now, we’ll just … we’ll figure it out.”

 

“I don’t want to disappear,” Fate admitted.  “It’s happened once and I … I can’t, not again …”

 

“You won’t, we’ll figure something out.”

 

“So you’ve said.”  Finally leaning back into Robin’s embrace, Fate closed his eyes.  “Mr. Nelson once said that we’re pieces of a whole, I wonder if …” He began to drift off, his body was still in pain, still cold despite the cape and still hungry.

 

“Kid Fate?!”  Robin’s voice sounded slightly panicked.  “Stay awake!”

 

“Mm.”  Fate tried to keep his eyes open, he knew that it would probably be a bad idea to fall asleep in this condition.

 

“Here, I have something that you can eat and then we’re going to figure out how to get you out of here.”  Suddenly an energy bar was waved in Fate’s face, accompanied by an annoying squeal of, “Choo choo!  Here comes the energy bar!”

 

Fate scowled at it and rolled his eyes.

 

“Come on, KF lets me do it!”

 

Fate rolled his eyes again, becoming more alert and he wondered why he had to suffer all the indignities in the world.  “I know for a fact that is not true.”

 

“Well, I have you trapped here, so you don’t have a choice.”

 

Too hungry to argue, Fate took a bite out of the offered energy bar.  He closed his eyes again, but this time it was to talk to KF.  _–You should probably speak to your friend.  I’m sure he’s eager to see you.-_

 

Robin was busy trying to figure out how to get his friend out and back home that he didn’t notice the shift in his friend until he spoke up.

 

“Thanks, Rob.”

 

The boy in Robin’s arms was relaxed and tired green eyes looked at him with relief.  “KF.”

 

“The one and only.”  KF pouted slightly at Robin.  “Do you have any more food?  I’m still starving.”

 

“Of course, KF, I always come prepared.”

 

Just as Robin was about grab another snack, an overly anxious voice filled both of their heads.

 

_“Robin!  Wally!  Are you two out here?  Where are you?  Wally, I sense … Oh!  Oh, Wally!  Oh my god …”_

 

KF jerked forward and clutched his head as Miss Martian’s conscious came pouring into his own as she made telepathic contact with him.  He hadn’t been prepared for her, none of them were.  KF and Wally were lucky the first time she used her telepathy on them, Wally was hiding so when she invaded his mind it was only KF there.  From then on when KF went on missions with Miss Martian, Fate and Wally hid themselves, made themselves unaware to keep Megan from seeing them.  When they were outside of a mission Megan usually kept her telepathy to herself.  Now they were caught off guard, Fate was still lingering towards the surface, ready to take over if KF became too distressed or if the pain in their leg became too much as it had earlier.  Wally was also around, eavesdropping in on Fate and KF’s conversation with Dick.  They were out in the open, they could be easily seen.

 

And then Megan made telepathic contact, she peered into the minds of her friends to locate them and she _saw_.  She could feel the second presence and out of reflex and curiosity she peered deeper.  She saw a third.  Her shock and horror overwhelmed them.  Megan saw the cracks that Psimon had seen before and the sudden urge to _fix_ things came from Megan.

 

Robin saw the pain and fear on KF’s face and he clung onto his friend even tighter.  “I didn’t tell her.”

 

KF looked at his friend’s face, he saw the lines on the younger boy’s brow and the twist of a frown and he knew right away.  “I believe you.”


	6. Parts 22-23

22

 

Robin held true to his promise and he didn’t breathe a word of KF’s secret, but KF could not get the same promise from Megan and it set him and the others on edge.

 

The broken leg was easy enough to explain.  He and Robin had a fight, he ran away and tripped while decelerating and landed himself in a bit of trouble.  The Flash had been very concerned and held his hand as his leg was broken and reset.  Robin was there to hold his other hand.  His parents had also been concerned about the incident and showered Wally with attention and love.  Even Mr. Nelson seemed worried about the turn of events when Fate snuck out a couple of days later to deal with Klarion.

 

“She won’t be able to ignore it,” Mr. Nelson told Kid Fate.  “Your friend knows the way the mind is supposed to work and she won’t be able to let it slip by.”

 

Fate felt cold.  “I don’t want to disappear again.”

 

“You never did to begin with.  Dormant, yes, but you didn’t disappear.”

 

He wasn’t convinced by Nelson’s words.

 

“As I said, you’re all pieces of a whole.  Getting rid of any of you would severely damage your psyche, your friend will recognize that.  If you really had disappeared during that mission, I doubt the others would have been able to hold onto their sanity.”  Mr. Nelson’s hand rested on Fate’s shoulder, their souls touching.  “Whatever happens, you won’t disappear, your friends wouldn’t risk hurting you like that.”

 

 “But what will happen?  If M’gann doesn’t tear us apart, then what else is there?”

 

Mr. Nelson didn’t answer, but Fate, KF and Wally found out soon enough.

 

 

22.5

 

KF had been walking on eggshells around Mount Justice.  Robin knew, but promised to keep silent.  Megan knew, but she just gave him worried looks.  After KF first begged her not to tell and all she had said was, “Oh Wally, oh I …” and didn’t give him a real answer, KF avoided her.  He was terribly obvious about it, because KF couldn’t be subtle to save his life.

 

As if he hadn’t drawn enough attention to himself and the others, his teammates were concerned about him and his new aversion to Megan.

 

“Is this about you moonlighting as Dr. Fate?”  Artemis asked him in the trophy room.

 

“Is this about you talking to yourself?”  Conner asked him once he cornered him in the kitchen.

 

Kaldur just frowned at him and said to him in the privacy of KF’s room, “You need to fix things with Megan.”

 

Robin held his hand and squeezed it.  The Boy Wonder was worried too, but for different reasons.  “I don’t want to lose you.”

 

Neither of them was sure which one Robin was talking about.

 

It was Megan who eventually approached him, almost a week after she found out.  She looked apologetic and sad as she entered his room at Mount Justice.

 

“I’m so sorry,” she said.  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, but my uncle, he … he knows …”

 

She didn’t have to say anymore and honestly, KF didn’t hear anymore.  He was struck down by shock and terror.  _J’onn_ knew.  If J’onn knew then he must have told the Flash.  Because they’re teammates and friends.  And if the Flash knew …

 

It took Kid Flash a moment to realize that he was suddenly yelling at Megan.  He was _yelling_ at Megan.  He was raising his voice and swearing at her for exposing his secret.  He was being mean, but he was afraid.  KF was afraid about being alone, about disappearing, about everything that could and now would happen because of Megan.  He was screaming at her and their friends began to notice, especially Conner.

 

Her voice filled his head, trying to explain herself.  Before her voice used to send pleasant shivers through him, now her voice made his skin crawl.  _“I didn’t mean to, but he was concerned about me and as Martians we communicate through our minds and—”_

 

_/I don’t care!  I don’t care!  Just get the fuck out!  GET OUT!  GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!/_

 

The force of his panic and anger made her flee his mind, her hand flying to her forehead in a mixture of pain and disorientation.  A small noise of distress escaped from her lips and that was invitation enough for Conner to come in, seize KF by his arms and snarl at him.  Robin, Artemis and Aqualad came running in at the commotion and shouted for him to stop, but there wasn’t much that could stop Superman’s clone.

 

“What did you _do_?”  Conner growled as Megan continued to whimper at KF’s mental backlash.

 

KF opened his mouth and began to antagonize Superboy to the point where Conner looked like he was about to strangle him.  He was saying the most awful things that could come to his mind just to piss Conner off.  Nothing mattered at that point.  It was different from the fear of Robin and Megan knowing, and KF was handling it differently from Wally.  Wally had been scared about their friend knowing and tried to fix things.  But Megan had indirectly told and KF was angry, it wasn’t her secret to tell.  The thought of the Flash knowing was much more devastating and it crushed KF.  The stress that had been consuming him all week had finally reached a breaking point.

 

Aqualad was trying to use his calming presence and brute strength to stop Conner from bashing KF’s face in.  But KF wanted Aqualad to leave, in a horrible moment of desperation he wanted Conner to strike him, to not hold back.  Because the Flash had to know by now.  His Uncle Barry had to know that he had been living a lie.  That every time Uncle Barry looked at KF and called him Wally, it was a lie.  That every time the Flash looked at Wally and called him his partner, it was a lie.  He couldn’t bear the thought of the people he loved most knowing that.

_KF, please, I’m scared …_

 

Conner’s grip tightened on KF and his bones protested from the pressure.

 

_-Stop!  KF, Superboy is going to **kill** us!-_

_/I don’t care!  The Flash knows!  We’ve been through this before, they’re going to get rid of us!  Nothing will be the same again!/_

 

_-No, no, we won’t disappear.  We’re pieces of a whole.-_ Fate echoed Mr. Nelson’s words.

 

_/I don’t care.  I’d rather remain in pieces./_

 

“Conner!  Stop!”  Megan cried, her slender green hands wrapping around his wrist.  “It’s not KF’s fault.  I … I … I did something terrible.  I did something that might …”

 

She gained everyone’s attention and Robin paled considerably, afraid that she was going to tell them right then and there.  Her voice trailed off and KF couldn’t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.  Because his uncle, his mentor, _knew_.  There was no getting around it.  Megan couldn’t keep it from J’onn and J’onn wouldn’t be able to keep it from Barry.  And his uncle, his mentor, his _idol_ , would hate him for his lies, his continuous lies.  It was something that he feared more than the emptiness of Wally or Fate going missing.

 

“Just fucking tell them, _M’gann_ ,” KF hissed.  “It doesn’t matter anymore, it doesn’t fucking matter.”

 

 

23

 

Dinner was unbearably silent.  Despite the squeak of utensils across plates and the quiet chewing of food, the silence was oppressive.  But the boy didn’t make any effort to talk to his parents and his parents made no effort to talk to him.  The scrape of his mother’s chair moving backwards filled the boy’s ears as she got up from the table and disappeared into the kitchen with her empty wine glass.  When she returned the wine glass was full again.

 

“That’s your third glass, Mary,” the boy’s father broke the silence with a condescending tone.

 

“You’re one to talk, Rudy,” his mother replied, glaring at her husband’s fourth beer of the night.

 

Rudolph didn’t say anything back and the hush returned.  Not that the boy blamed his parents and their odd behavior.  Only a couple of weeks ago they had the perfect son, a son who was kind, quiet and polite along with being a straight A student.  They had a son who was also a superhero, confident, strong and always eager to help others.  But now all they had was a broken young boy, someone who had trouble responding to names and had a lost, confused look in his eyes.  He had ruined everything.

 

_J’onn’s hands carefully framed Wally’s fate.  His touch was gentle, but it did little to soothe Wally as the Martian entered his head.  There was a sudden pressure on his mind that was smashing the fragments of his psyche together.  The cracks that had formed and widened over time were pressed together, blending into one another.  The divisions between Wally, Kid Flash and Kid Fate were beginning to blur and it was so hard, so hard to concentrate, to think, to breathe.  Everything was beginning to run together, bleeding into one another._

_Nothing felt more unnatural._

 

His mother drained her glass and the boy finished up his dinner, not bothering to get seconds.

 

“May I be excused?”  He whispered, his voice breaking the silence again.

 

“Yes,” his mother answered.

 

Usually if he asked to leave without helping to clear the table and do the dishes, his mother would say something about it.  It was expected that he help clean up.  Recently that expectation slipped away and his mother and father didn’t ask him to linger around the dinner table any longer than necessary.  He got up and ran upstairs to his room.  The boy didn’t stay in his room for very long though, instead he cracked open the window and launched himself at the nearby tree before climbing down it.  He made no effort to conceal his escape and his parents didn’t call him out on it.

 

As soon as his feet hit the ground it was a question of where to go.  A question of where he belonged.

 

Obviously he didn’t belong at home.  His aunt and uncle’s house was tempting, but he still couldn’t bring himself to face his uncle.  Mount Justice wasn’t an option.  So it came to no surprise to him when his feet headed west and he raced across the country with liberating speed.  Running was one of the few times when he felt normal lately.  Soon he was standing in front of a familiar door and he was knocking against it with his fist.

 

The door opened and Roy let him in.

 

“Hey, Kid,” the older teen said.

 

“Hey,” he said back and entered the apartment.

 

They didn’t talk much and they didn’t kiss anymore.  Instead Roy would pull him to the couch, make the boy sit in front of him and rub his shoulders and his back.  It made his body relax, even if his mind was still unable to do so.

 

“How are you doing today?”  Roy asked as he rubbed at the boy’s shoulders.

 

The boy closed his eyes.

 

_“Uncle Barry!  Please! **Please!** Please don’t let him!  I’m sorry!  I’m sorry I lied!” Wally wailed, trembling and sniffling against a stark white bed in the infirmary of the Watchtower.  An IV running from his arm made his limbs feel heavy, but it did little to stifle the sheer terror that flowed through him._

_“Wally, it’ll be ok.  Calm down, we’re going to fix things.”  His uncle clutched his hand reassuringly and stroked his hair, but there was a hint of doubt in his voice.  Barry Allen looked up nervously to J’onn and repeated softly, “We’re going to fix things.”_

_“But I’m not broken, Uncle Barry.”_

 

“The same.”

 

Roy snorted.  “That’s real encouraging.”  He wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him against his chest, his hand running up and down the boy’s lanky arm.  Lips pressed against his temple in a chaste expression of affection.

 

“Can I stay the night?”

 

“Always.”


	7. Parts 24-27.5

24

 

It was the silence that often got to the boy.

 

He lied in Roy’s bed and usually the sound of the older teen’s snores was enough to lull him to sleep, but Roy was out on patrol.  Without Roy, the apartment was overly quiet.  The boy rarely slept at his parents’ house anymore and while he was sure that his parents noticed his absence at night, they never said anything.  That was fine with the boy, because he couldn’t sleep when it was so quiet.  It was too hard to fall asleep without the constant chatter in his head, people coming and going, without the comfort of the others right around the corner.  Sleeping with Roy helped to alleviate that problem, except for nights like this.

 

The boy closed his eyes in an effort to fall asleep.

 

_KF couldn’t fall asleep, instead he tossed and turned in his bed.  In his mind there was the scared mutterings of Fate and Wally.  They didn’t know what was going to happen to them now that their uncle knew.  There was so much uncertainty._

Is Uncle Barry going to get rid of us? _Wally asked in a whimper._ Does Uncle Barry hate us?

 

-They will do what they think is best.- _Fate replied._

/Which will be tearing us apart./  _KF added bitterly._

_He buried his face into the pillow as Wally began to freak out and Fate was beginning to demand why they weren’t running.  But KF knew it wouldn’t matter.  There was no running away now that their lies had been exposed. There was no point.  The life they had built up was gone, their hopes and dreams would never come true.  Now it was just the anxiety over what was going to happen to them that was eating him alive.  KF knew that not all of them were going to survive what was going to happen next so he focused on Wally and Fate’s voices, afraid that he’d never hear them again._

_The bedroom door opened, revealing a sliver of light and the outline of their uncle.  Wally and Fate were quiet, but KF wished they would never stop talking.  He wished they would always be around to talk him, to tease him, to make him feel whole._

_“Wally?”  Barry’s voice was low and filled with so much concern._

_“Kid Flash.”  KF twisted the sheets under him in his hands.  “I’m Kid Flash.”_

 

The boy clutched the blankets around him even tighter and soon Roy’s pillow ended up in his arms.

 

_Wally couldn’t help screaming in fear and pain.  The pressure on his mind was unbearable and as the pieces were being forced together, Wally was afraid that he would shatter.  That there would be so many pieces that Wally would never find himself or KF or Fate ever again.  They would be lost forever in a sea of fragments.  His screams filled the room and in his head KF and Fate were screaming too.  They tried to fight against J’onn, but the Martian’s mind overwhelmed them._

_And soon there was only silence._

 

Grabbing his cell phone off of the nightstand, the boy dialed a number and waited for someone to pick up.

 

“Hey, KF,” a bright voice greeted him and the name made the boy’s toes curl.

 

“Hi, Dick,” the boy whispered.

 

“Is it story time already?”  Robin’s voice was light, but not teasing.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Alright.  I just got a Sherlock Holmes book, _A Study in Scarlet_.  I think you’ll like it, Holmes is all about logic and science just like you are.  Wanna hear it?”

 

“Ok.  Thanks, Rob.”

 

The boy closed his eyes and listened as his friend began to read to him.  It was easy to get swept away in the sound of Robin’s voice, the way it changed when characters spoke and the steady rhythm of his words.  The story also interested him, he found himself relating to the logic of Holmes and the emotions of Watson. 

 

As he listened, he began to wonder, ‘ _Am I Wally?’_  

 

Wally would like this.  Wally would like the logic and science, he would enjoy it more than anyone.

 

_‘Am I Wally?’_

 

The boy didn’t open his eyes again until he found his cell phone being carefully taken away from him.  Robin had hung up a few hours ago after the boy’s deep, even breathing told him he’d fallen asleep, and now Roy was taking the phone to put it away.  Roy slipped into the bed, his arms reaching for the boy and pulled him close.  The boy could smell the freshness of soap and shampoo on Roy and he pressed his face into the older teen’s chest.  A hand settled on his back, rubbing it soothingly.

 

“You wouldn’t believe criminals these days, Wally,” Roy started.

 

The boy’s heart skipped a beat at the way the name rumbled in the archer’s chest.

 

“I ran into some of the stupidest criminals in Star City tonight.”

 

He listened to Roy’s tales from his patrol, laughing softly at Roy’s exasperation as his eyelids grew heavy and he slipped into unawareness.

 

 

25

 

“There’s a lot of rumors as to why you’re not in school anymore,” Linda told the boy before she took a long sip from her milkshake.  “A lot of them are really bad and I try to stop them the best I can.”

 

The boy just shrugged.

 

“The big one that’s been going around is that you had a mental break or something after a bad fight.  I’ve been telling everyone that’s crap.  I mean, you’re no fighter, but you’re tougher than people give you credit,” she continued.  “There’s also another one that you’re at a university since you’re so smart.  Oh and there’s a nasty one that you’ve been taken away by the state because of your home life.”

 

The boy winced, he remembered Robin thinking that his parents were abusing him.  Why did everyone think that his parents were bad people?

 

“Wally, I want to know why, I want to know if there’s something wrong,” Linda asserted. 

 

The boy shrugged again.

 

“I mean, I guess things can’t be that bad.  You’re here with me and I heard that you’re coming back next year, but you’re being home schooled now.  With your brains you’re going to get way ahead of everyone and you’re going to end up a year ahead.”

 

“I’d still help you with your classes,” the boy offered as he munched on a fry.

 

Linda frowned.  “It’s not the same.  I’m going to miss you.  Who am I going to pass notes to in class?  Whose notebook am I going to doodle on?  Who am I going to have lunch with on Thursdays?  None of my other friends are smart enough to make it into the advanced classes.  It’s going to be boring without you.”

 

The boy didn’t reply.  All he could do was linger on her words about how much she was going to miss him.

_‘Are we friends, Linda?’_

_‘…Am I Wally?’_

 

“Why did you leave school?  Is it the bullying?”  She was almost leaning over of the table and her voice dropped into a hushed whisper as if they were sharing a secret.

 

“I lost a couple of friends,” the boy admitted quietly.  Tears stung his eyes and he could no longer bring himself to look up at Linda.  He fixed his eyes on the half eaten burger in front of him and found that he was no longer hungry.

 

_The boy woke up to silence.  He reached out in his mind, he was scared and his head hurt, but no one answered.  He scrambled upright in the bed he was in and clutched his head as he called out again.  There was no one there.  Where were his friends?  His brothers?_

_“Wally, Wally, it’s ok, you’re ok now.”  Uncle Barry was pulling him into a hug, but the boy squirmed out of his grip.  Uncle Barry let him go, mostly out of surprise and a little bit of hurt from the boy’s rejection._

_But that meant little to the boy.  He was looking for his brothers.  They were missing.  Wally, Kid Flash and Kid Fate were gone.  The boy suddenly grew cold with fear and confusion.  If he couldn’t find Wally, Kid Flash and Kid Fate, then …_

_He looked up at his uncle and asked, “Who am I?”_

 

Linda drew in a harsh breath.  She moved out from her side of the booth and slid next to the boy.  Her shoulder brushed against his and the boy realized that he had never been this close to her before, he’d never realized how pretty she was before.  Linda pulled him into a hug with one of her hands reaching up to stroke his hair.

 

“Oh Wally, I’m so sorry.”  She held him for a couple more minutes before she finally pulled away, but not before kissing him on the cheek, close to the corner of his mouth.

 

The boy could feel the stickiness of her pink lip gloss on his cheek as the spot where her lips were was quickly cooling.  His fingertips brushed against the spot, not to wipe it away, but just to confirm what he felt on his cheek.  A blush swallowed his freckles, but a small smile formed on his mouth.

 

“I must be in heaven, because I was just kissed by an angel.”  There was shyness to the words, but they’re flirtatious and familiar.

 

_‘Am I KF?’_

Shock was visible on Linda’s face, then she grinned and gave him a light shove.  “Keep working on your lines.  I wonder how you ever picked up Roy with those lines.”  She suddenly stiffened at the mention of Roy and she gave him a panicked look.  “Oh!  Don’t tell your boyfriend I did that!  I know he’s the overprotective, jealous type.”  She noticed a frown forming on the boy’s lips and she wrapped her arms back around him.  “He just cares about you.”

 

_“Goddamn it, what did they do to you?” Roy held the boy’s hand.  “I was away, the undercover thing I was telling you about in Star City.  Kaldur finally got a hold of me.  Damn it, Wally, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t have let them …”_

_The boy didn’t respond.  He wasn’t Wally and Roy was talking to Wally.  It would be wrong for him to reply.  He made a small noise though as Roy dragged him closer, enveloping him into a gentle but firm embrace._

_“Damn it,” Roy swore again, his face half buried in the boy’s hair.  “I’m going to kill J’onn, I’m going to kill Barry for letting this happen.”_

 

“Yeah, he does,” the boy agreed.

 

 

26

 

His head was lying in his Aunt Iris’s lap as he watched TV.  The boy knew he looked like a child, but he was comfortable lying like that on the couch and his aunt was more than willing lavish attention upon him.  He spent the daytime hours at his aunt’s house, reading and doing schoolwork so he wouldn’t be behind when he went back.  The boy often got through the work rather quickly and he’d wander into the living room where his aunt usually was.  She had taken some time off from work to make herself available to help him.

 

Glancing at the clock, the boy knew he had less than an hour until his uncle came home from work and he needed to think about where he’d go next.  He thought about visiting Roy, but then he remembered that Roy was away.  Dick was busy too.  The boy realized that he was beginning to miss Kaldur and that he could go visit Aqualad.  If he was careful he could go back to Mount Justice, he just didn’t want to run into Megan.

 

The boy didn’t really blame Megan, not anymore.  But her green skin and glowing eyes …

 

_Green hands descended down upon Wally, touching his temples and glowing eyes stared blankly at the young speedster.  Wally jerked under the touch, whimpering as Superman held him still.  Even though he knew that J’onn wasn’t going to do anything yet, that he was merely scanning Wally’s mind to confirm what he saw in M’gann’s mind, the speedster was still terrified.  The intrusion was unwelcomed and Wally struggled.  He struggled mentally and physically._

_“J’onn?” Uncle Barry’s voice was questioning._

_It hurt.  KF and Fate were panicked as J’onn entered their shared mindscape and their panic bled into Wally.  He struggled against Superman’s arms._

_“J’onn.”  There was a warning to Barry’s tone._

_A fight or flight reaction kicked into all three of them.  Fate tried to take over the body, but J’onn stopped both him and KF from surfacing.  Then KF instructed Wally in how to vibrate his molecules.  Chances were that it wasn’t going to work, but they were all willing to take a chance.  Wally tried and he could feel a rush of blood fill his nostrils._

_“J’onn! **Stop**!”_

 

The boy shuddered slightly and started to sit up, but his aunt’s hand rested heavily upon his arm.

 

“I’ve noticed that you aren’t home very often anymore,” Iris said carefully.

 

The boy didn’t say anything.

 

“I know your parents aren’t dealing with this very well and Barry says that you’ve been staying with Roy a lot.”

 

He nodded in confirmation.

 

“I want you to stay here.  I know Roy and your friends are taking care of you, but I’m sure that eating takeout all the time isn’t very healthy for a growing speedster.”  Her smile was soft and kind and the boy just had to smile back.  “Stay here for now.  You can still go see your friends and your parents when you want, but I want you to come back here at night so I can tuck you into bed myself.”

 

That sounded nice on the surface, but the boy thought about the silence of the Allen household when the lights were turned off.  He thought about having to live in the same space as his uncle.

 

_“Don’t let them do this!”  KF yelled.  “Flash!  There’s nothing wrong with me, with **us**!”_

_“This will be for the best.  I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but it is,” the Flash tried to reassure him._

_“Please, we need each other,” Fate tried to reason with him._

_“This is for the best.  We’ll fix this.”_

_“There’s nothing to fix,” Wally sniffled.  “We’re not broken, Uncle Barry.”_

_“This is for the best.”_

 

“I’ve talked to your uncle, he says that he can stay with Hal for as long as you need your distance from him.  He just wants to make sure that you’re being taken care of properly.”  Iris grabbed the boy’s hand and gave it a squeeze.  “Your Uncle Barry really only wants what’s best for you.  I know what happened was scary and that you’re still hurt, I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through.  But Barry never wanted this, he never wanted to see you so depressed.”

 

The boy lowered his gaze, but Iris carefully grabbed his chin and made him look up at her.

 

“Barry loves you, Wally.”

 

The name made him twitch.

 

“He loves you like a son and he’s devastated over this.  He misses you so much.”

 

The boy let the words absorb into his brain and he mulled over them.  He only had twenty minutes until his uncle came home.

 

_“Who am I?”_

_Tears ran down Barry’s pale, tired face at the question.  He hugged the boy even as he squirmed again.  “You’re my partner.  You’re my nephew.  My beloved nephew.”_

 

“I’ll stay and … and Uncle Barry can stay too.”

 

 

26.5

 

The boy was avoiding his uncle.  When he heard the front door open and close he’d dash for his room or conveniently go out at that time.  He made it a point to make back to his aunt and uncle’s house to go to bed though, just as his aunt requested.  Roy wasn’t happy about it, but they’d talk on the phone as the boy was climbing into bed.  He just wanted to listen to Roy’s voice.  Nights when Roy was out on patrol, a little bird would perch on his windowsill and read to him. 

 

Sometimes it was Conner who would come with a book, other times it was Artemis or Kaldur.  On really good nights Roy would show up, his phone in hand as he was talking to the boy and a small grin on his face as he climbed through the window.  One night it was girl with red hair, pale skin, freckles and hazel eyes, who sat on his windowsill with a copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ in her slender hand.  She looked hopefully at him and asked, “Is this ok?”

 

He nodded and slipped into bed.  “Try to pick a not so girly book next time.”

 

She laughed.  “You’ll love it, I promise.”

 

He did, but he never told her.

 

His aunt and uncle were well aware of his visitors, but they didn’t comment.  Only an understanding smile from his aunt was any form of communication to him about it.  Anything to make him feel at ease, the boy had heard Iris say on the phone to Joan Garrick.

 

One night though all of his friends were on a mission, despite the lack of a speedster there was still work to be done.  Red Arrow was away on patrol as well and the boy lied in his bed alone, being smothered by the silence.  He tossed and turned as dark memories began to creep into his hollowed mind and tore at his very soul.  There was no one there to distract him, no voices to soothe him and he felt so alone.

 

He tried listening to his iPod, but the voices of singers were unfamiliar and distant.  They had no effect on him like the sound of his friends and their warm tones.  He was close to tears when he heard something.

 

“‘Dark spruce forest frowned on either side the frozen waterway.  The trees had been stripped by a recent wind of their white covering of frost …’”

 

The boy sat up in bed and it took him a second to realize that the voice was coming from the hallway right outside his door.

 

“‘…and they seemed to lean towards each other, black and ominous, in the fading light.  A vast silence reigned over the land.’”

 

He crawled out of bed, dragging a pillow and blanket with him.  He laid down on the floor next to the door, listening to the voice on the other side.

 

“‘The land itself was a desolation, lifeless, without movement, so lone and cold …’”

 

The boy’s heart ached as he listened to the lonely description, but it lightened as the narrative continued.

 

“‘But there _was_ life, abroad in the land and defiant.  Down the frozen waterway toiled a string of wolfish dogs ...’”

 

The boy lied there, listening to his uncle read to him from the other side of the door.  He didn’t feel so alone anymore.

 

 

27  
   
A glimpse of red caught the boy’s attention.  He peeked into the kitchen from the doorway and spotted his uncle in front of the refrigerator in his Flash uniform with the cowl pulled down.  His uncle must have just gotten home from patrol.  It was the middle of the night and the curtains over the kitchen windows were drawn, so there was no risk of anyone seeing Barry in his costume.  But the boy saw and something squeezed his heart painfully and he was swept up in an intense sense of longing.  
   
He had the itch to run, to head out the door and to run as fast and as far as he could.  Not only that, he wanted to pull on the Kid Flash uniform, he wanted to run alongside the Flash, he wanted to help people and have the Flash ruffle his hair and tell him he did a good job.  The feeling coiled up the boy’s stomach and it took him a moment to realize that tears were falling from his eyes.  He wanted it so badly.  Bright spandex stretched across his skin, goggles sitting on top of his head, gloves with secret compartments, heavy padding on his shoulders, he wanted it all.  
   
Small sniffles alerted the Flash to his presence and the Fastest Man Alive caught the sight of his redden eyes and wet cheeks.  
   
The boy flinched at the sudden attention and ran up to his room, forgetting that he had snuck downstairs for a snack.  
   
The next day the boy searched the back of his closet and found the spare uniform that KF kept at Barry and Iris’s house.  He slipped it on and looked at himself in the full length mirror hanging on the closet door.  A shiver ran down his spine.  It felt right.  It felt so right.  
   
He ran his hands down his chest, over the lightning bolt symbol and he stared in wonder.  
   
 _‘Am I KF?’_  
   
He wasn’t KF.  
   
But he wasn’t so sure of that now.  
   
He looked so much like KF and he felt the need to run with the Flash, to help people.  
   
 _‘Because that’s what’s supposed to happen,’_ the boy thought as he pulled the goggles down over his eyes.   
   
It felt right.  
   
His fingertip tapped the middle of the suit and the bright colors died away into darker tones more suitable for stealth missions.  Another shiver ran down his spine.  It was different that time and he longed to go to Mount Justice.  Even though the boy determined that he didn’t belong there, he _wanted_ to go and meet with his team.  He wanted to wait for Batman to come with a mission like an eager puppy.  
   
He tapped the suit again and the bright colors returned.  He liked the dark colors of the suit, but the bright ones looked better, he thought.  
   
 _‘I almost look like Kid Flash.’_  
   
The bedroom door opened and the boy looked over at the doorway in surprise as his aunt stood there, just as surprised to see him in the Kid Flash suit.  Her eyes watered and the boy suddenly felt uncomfortable.  The colors were too bright, too noticeable.  The goggles looked too tacky.  The padding on the shoulders was too heavy.  And the spandex showed off too much and clung too tightly.  
   
“Does it look funny?”  He asked.  
   
Aunt Iris pressed a hand to her mouth and her eyes continued to shine.  “No,” she said behind her hand, her voice thick with emotion.  “No, you look perfect.  Oh Kid Flash, you look perfect.”  
   
The boy didn’t understand why his aunt was crying, but she didn’t look sad.  Her hand fell away from her face and there was a giant smile behind of it as she stared at him.  The uncomfortable feeling faded away and confidence swelled up in his chest.  
   
“Yeah, I look pretty heroic, huh?”  The boy beamed.  
   
“The most heroic teenager ever,” Aunt Iris replied and her smile got even bigger.  
   
Later the boy heard his uncle rush downstairs, shouting to Aunt Iris that there was an _emergency_.  The boy met his Uncle Barry at the front door, dressed in a bright yellow and red spandex suit and a pair of goggles perched on his head.  Barry stopped in his tracks and blinked.  
   
“Can … Can I …?”  The boy couldn’t finish his question and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.  
   
Barry’s eyes lit up and he grinned.  “I was just about to ask you to come with me.  I _need_ a partner on this one and Hal is a poor substitute for you, Kid Flash.”  
   
“Uncle Hal is great, but he can’t keep up with me!”  The boy’s voice rose with enthusiasm and confidence.  So much confidence that before was like a distant memory, but was flooding into him.  
   
“No, he can’t.  Now let’s go, Weather Wizard isn’t going to put himself in jail!”  
   
“Not without our help!”  The boy grinned and followed his uncle out the door.  
   
   
27.5  
   
The boy happily ate his triple scoop ice cream cone as he sat on a rooftop in Central City with the Flash.  The ice cream didn’t last long, he was starving and the treat fell victim to his appetite.  Once his hunger was satisfied he felt good, a little sore from the activity and bruised from the fight, but overall he felt good.  Actually, he never felt so good since he woke up and found himself alone and empty.  
   
“You did good work, Kid Flash,” the Flash said, his hand resting on the boy’s shoulder.  
   
The boy frowned slightly.  “I’m not Kid Flash.”  
   
The Flash wrapped his arm around the boy’s shoulders.  “Yes, you are.  _Never_ doubt it.  You’re my partner.”  
   
The boy couldn’t bring himself to answer, so he buried his face into his uncle’s shoulder instead.  
   
“I’m sorry about what happened, I’m so sorry,” Barry whispered, his voice shaking.  “I know that right now you don’t feel right, that things don’t make sense, but I know they will.  One day you’re going to wake up and you’re going to realize what a wonderful kid you are.  That all those brains and bravery and confidence belong to _you_.  That you’re Wally West and Kid Flash.  And until then … Until then I’ll be here.  Even if you don’t want me anywhere near you, I’m going to be there, I always have been.”  
   
The boy clung tightly onto his uncle and hoped that his uncle was right.  That one day things would make sense.


	8. Parts 28-30

28  
   
 _Wally fidgeted on the bed and tried to mess around with the IV stuck in his arm, dripping medicine that kept him sedated and kept him from using his speed, but his uncle gently batted his hands away.  Wally just slouched down and looked away, but Barry grabbed his hands and held them._  
   
 _“Everything will be ok,” Barry promised._  
   
 _Somewhere in the hallway beyond the private little room Wally could hear Robin yelling at someone.  There was a loud scream and the sound of someone hitting the wall, probably Conner.  A girl’s voice that was almost as loud as Robin’s voice cut through, expressing her displeasure, was Artemis’s.  A low murmur of reason, but with an edge of force and frustration belonged to Kaldur.  And a quieter female voice tried to break through the commotion, tried to smooth out the wrinkles and anger, which belonged to Megan.  Wally shrank back into the bed.  Kid Flash’s friends and teammates knew.  They knew and they weren’t happy._  
   
/They’re more pissed that the Justice League took us up to the Watchtower.  That the Justice League is letting J’onn fuck with our head./ _Kid Flash reminded Wally._ /They’re not mad at you, Wall, they like you, they like all of us./  
   
-They have all stood up for us, even M’gann.-  
   
 _Wally tried to take comfort in those words, that none of their friends were happy about J’onn poking around his mind and making him **better** , but he was still afraid.  He wished that Roy was there, but the archer was in the middle of an undercover mission and none of KF’s teammates could reach him._  
   
/I miss Roy too.  I wish … I wish I could have said goodbye./  
   
-Kaldur is doing his best to reach your boyfriend.  I hope he makes it in time.-  
   
/He’s not just _my_ boyfriend, he belongs to all of us!  You know you love massages from Roy, don’t deny it!/  
   
-I would not call Red Arrow my boyfriend.-  
   
/He’s more so than that molesty brat you like!/  
   
 _Fate chose not to answer and Wally couldn’t help but smile at their banter.  His uncle looked at him curiously, but Wally decided not to explain.  What went on up in their head was a private world between Wally, Kid Flash and Kid Fate.  And this was going to be the last time they would be together.  After Megan found out, after she accidently told J’onn, after J’onn told Barry, it was decided that Wally needed to be **fixed**.  That what was going in Wally’s psyche would end up causing more harm than good.  Wally didn’t understand how any of it could be bad.  While sometimes he felt crowded in his own head and he felt insignificant compared to his counterparts, Wally loved KF and Fate._  
   
I’m going to miss you guys, _Wally whispered to them._  
   
/Wall …/  
   
I’m going to really miss you guys.  You’ve been … You’ve really been everything to me …  
   
-We won’t be apart,- _Fate sounded confident._  
   
/Your pieces of a whole bull again?/  _KF asked bitterly._  
   
-Yes, I think that they’ll put us together.  We’ll still be here, just not in the same way.  We will have balance.-  
   
/I don’t want _balance._  I want things to stay the _same_!/  
   
-It’s a little too late for that now, isn’t it!?-  
   
 _Wally shut his eyes and clutched his head as they began to argue.  “Please stop,” he whimpered out loud._  
   
 _Barry’s arms were around him right away and he was murmuring that everything would be ok soon.  Wally just shook his head._  
   
 _“Why are you trying to get rid of us?”  Wally asked his uncle, his voice small and filled with fear._  
   
 _“No, Wally, we’re trying to make you better.  You can’t—I know you think that you’re ok now, but you can’t live three lives, not like this.”_  
  
 _“I need them.  How else will I be Kid Flash or help Dr. Fate?”_  
   
 _“You’ll still be able to do all of those things.  Wally, it’s all **you**.  You can do all of those things.”_  
   
 _Wally opened his mouth to protest, but the door opened and J’onn entered the room.  From the open doorway, he could see Kid Flash’s friends gathered around.  Robin tried to get in, but Batman caught his shoulder.  Wally appreciated the gesture, just that morning Robin tried to break KF out of the Watchtower.  The speedster raised his hand in a half wave and silently said goodbye to Kid Flash’s team._  
   
 _J’onn stepped towards Wally._  
   
/I know I never say this, but … I … I love you guys.  Even you, Fate.  I really respect you.  And Wall, I’ve always loved you like my little brother./  
   
-The sentiment is mutual.  Whatever happens, it’s been an honor, and I have always considered both of you my brothers.-  
   
Thank you, both of you.  I love you both.  
   
 _Wally tried to hold back his tears when J’onn carefully touched him and entered his mind, knowing that soon he’d never hear KF or Fate again.  It hurt so much and the last thing he heard from his brothers were their screams of pain as they were forced together._  
  
  
29  
  
The boy stretched out his arms and his fingers brushed against the cool metal of the old helmet.  He only wanted to touch it, but he was compelled to grab the helmet and take it off the shelf.  Pausing, the boy looked around and reassured himself that no one was around, that no one knew he was at Mount Justice.  He looked down at the helmet and its feel and weight were familiar to him.   
   
He shouldn’t know though, the boy thought himself, he wasn’t Kid Fate.  Or at least he didn’t think so.  
  
 _‘Am I Fate?’_  
   
Whether or not he was Kid Fate, he wanted to put on the helmet.  Something tugged on his very soul and called out to him.  There needed to be order in the world.  
   
His hands gripped the helmet harder and the call sounded louder.  It was almost comforting to have something call to him, another presence demanding his attention.  But this was different.  Nabu’s voice was more intrusive and he sounded cranky.  Not that the boy blamed the ancient Lord of Order, the boy had been ignoring him for awhile now.  
   
A throat was cleared behind the boy and he looked around to find Artemis watching him from the doorway.  She leaned casually against the doorframe, dressed in her costume and her bow in hand.  The boy couldn’t help the mixture of annoyance and admiration for her that rose up in him.  
  
“Planning on going out?”  She asked.  
   
“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully.  
   
“You should, I think that helmet is beginning to look meaner.”  
   
“That’s because there’s important work to be done,” the boy replied.  “Order must be kept in the world.”  
   
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Baywatch,” Artemis rolled her eyes.  “If that thing is telling you to get going, then it’s probably Klarion again.”  
   
The boy gripped the helmet tighter at the mention of the Lord of Chaos.  
   
“Come on, we don’t want to keep the brat waiting.”  
   
The boy’s eyes widened and he shook his head.  “No, I will do this on my own.  This is my burden.”  
   
“I’ve heard it all before,” Artemis waved her hand and rolled her eyes again.  “I’m not listening and I’m coming as your backup.”  
   
“I will fight this on my own, it’s my responsibility!”  
   
“Uh-huh and if you leave without me I’ll let the Flash know what you’re up to, Kid Fate.  I’m sure that the helmet will look nice up in the Watchtower.”  
   
The boy stuck out his bottom lip.  “Fine, but you’re so slow.”  
   
   
29.5  
   
When he opened his eyes, the boy was standing next to Kent Nelson.  
   
“It’s been awhile,” Mr. Nelson smiled.  
   
The boy weakly returned the smile, but he didn’t know how to tell Mr. Nelson that he wasn’t Kid Fate.  He wasn’t the boy that Mr. Nelson got to know.  
   
“It’s good to see you whole.”  
   
He flinched.  He wasn’t whole, he was a shell.  
   
 _The boy wasn’t listening as J’onn droned on about what had happened and what he should be feeling now.  It didn’t matter.  It didn’t matter, because he wasn’t Wally, he wasn’t Kid Flash and he wasn’t Kid Fate.  He was whatever was left over.  He was the shell left behind after all three of them had been purged, erased from their shared mindscape.  He didn’t have a name or any special talents.  He was just a boy._  
   
Mr. Nelson could see the memory as it surfaced in the boy’s conscious, just like he could see the mending cracks along the boy’s soul.  “You _are_ whole now.  It doesn’t feel like it, because it’s been over two years since you were like this.”  
   
“Two years ago it was only Wally.  I’m not Wally,” the boy countered.  
   
“You are though.  Don’t you have his memories?  Don’t you know everything that he knew in that scientific brain of yours?”  
   
The boy bit his lip.  He did.  That didn’t make him Wally though.  
   
“Don’t you feel the things that he felt?  I bet you still like that Martian girl and that redheaded archer.”  
   
The boy’s flush was answer enough for that.  
   
“What about Kid Flash?  Do you still feel the urge to run and help people?  Are you still friends with your teammates?  Do you still remember all of his training, his missions?”  
   
The boy did.  He remembered everything and when he put on Kid Flash’s suit it felt so right.  It felt right like it did when he sat and read his uncle’s forensic journals and checked over Linda’s homework.  It felt right like when he hung out with Dick.  It felt right like when he hugged Roy.  
   
“And Kid Fate?  Do you remember our long conversations?  Do you still remember fighting Klarion?  Your spitfire?  Do you still feel the tug on your soul to take up Dr. Fate’s helmet and keep order in the world?”  
   
He did, he really did.  The boy felt and remembered all of those things.  Now that he thought about it, he remembered things that KF did, but Wally didn’t necessarily know.  He remembered Kid Fate’s first outing, which had been kept secret from Wally and KF.  He remembered all the incidents of bullying at school that Wally hid from KF and then Fate.  The boy knew everything.  Everything that overlapped in their memories and everything they kept hidden from each other.  
   
“How?  How can I be three people?”  The boy asked.  
   
“You’re not,” Mr. Nelson explained.  “You’ve always been one person.  You just never knew you could do all the things that you do.  So you fragmented, you separated the different aspects of yourself so you could deal with your own differences.”  
  
“That doesn’t make sense.”  
   
“It does.  You always felt that you were weak, because you were teased and bullied.  When you became Kid Flash, when you gained your powers and became physically strong, you couldn’t deal with that contradiction in yourself.  And when we first met you began to believe in something other than science and the shock of my death fragmented you even further.  But these were all things that were a part of you.  You believe, you’re strong and fast, and you’re far too smart for your own good.”  
   
“That still doesn’t tell me who I am,” the boy said, the volume of his voice rising as his frustration increased.  For almost two months now he’s lived without knowing who he was other than an empty shell.  And here Mr. Nelson was insisting that he was all three, that he was Wally, KF and Fate.  “I still don’t know who I _am_!”  
   
Mr. Nelson tapped him on the top of his head three times.  “Wally West.  Kid Flash.  Kid Fate.  Like any superhero you have multiple identities.  Right now you’re Kid Fate.  But when Nabu removes this helmet you’ll be Wally.  And when you put on your costume you’ll be Kid Flash.  You’re like your uncle, like your friends.”  
   
“I’ll … I’ll be Wally?  I’m Kid Fate right now?”  
   
It was beginning to make a little sense to him.  More sense than most things lately.  Still, it didn’t soothe his anxieties and he was having trouble wrapping his head around being multiple people at once.  
   
“You once told me, as Kid Fate, that you thought your uncle might understand, because when he puts on his uniform he’s the Flash and outside of it he’s Barry Allen.  You’re not any different, kid.”  
   
The boy unfortunately didn’t have the time to reply as Klarion got a hit in and he felt the repercussions.  He gritted his teeth and bore the pain.  Mr. Nelson made a noise of concern, especially when Klarion got in another strike.  But the boy knew he could make it through the battle, because Kid Fate always did.  Because if he believed Mr. Nelson, then he _was_ Kid Fate.  
   
   
30  
   
Dick stared blankly at the hand held out to him.  
   
“Hi, I’m Wally West!”  
   
Dick took the hand and shook it.  There was a lopsided smile on his face as he said, “I know who you are, we’ve been bros for like two years.”  
   
“I know, I’m just trying to, uh, actually, I don’t really know.  I mean, I’m Wally right?  But I never really introduced myself as Wally.  Or I guess as the Wally I was … No, I am Wally, I’m still that Wally, but you knew me as only KF.  You know, until I started hanging out with you as Wally, but I didn’t tell you I was a different person.  Or the same, I guess.  I … I really don’t know.  But um, yeah, I’m Wally West and I’m Kid Flash and I’m Kid Fate, though I’m trying to keep that one under wraps.  Kind of a secret identity to my secret identity, especially since I promised the Flash that I wouldn’t go out as Kid Fate anymore.  Cause you know, magic does a real number on my accelerated healing.  Does any of this make any sense to you?  Because I’m pretty lost right now.”  
   
Dick laughed and shook his head.  “I get it.  I _think_.  But I’m just … I’m happy.  This is better than how you were before, when you were having trouble responding to names, I mean.”  
   
Wally smiled.  He thinks he’s Wally anyway or at least he’s trying to be.  
   
“So, are you going to check over my physics homework or what?  Because I want to go to the arcade before we meet up with Roy for pizza.”  Dick tapped on his watch to indicate to the speedster that they didn’t have much time.  
   
“Ok, ok.  I don’t know why you have me do this, you hardly ever have any mistakes.”  Wally picked up the paper that had been lying on his desk, waiting for him to look over it.  He sat at his neat, organized desk and started working as Dick sat on his bed.  
   
“How is it living back at home?”  Dick asked.  “I know your parents were having a hard time dealing with everything.”  
   
Wally glanced up from the paper.  “I’m only here for part of the week and I still spend the night at Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry’s place when I don’t stay over at Roy’s.  I think that they just want my parents to get used to being around me again, even though I’m … I’m like _this_.”  
   
“What?  You mean being yourself?” Dick scoffed.   
   
Wally didn’t respond and just made a check next to one of the problems on Dick’s homework.  He didn’t mention that both his parents were still drinking and fighting more often.  But things were getting a little better as he was getting better.  He could think of himself as Wally now.  It was hard thinking of himself as KF and Fate as well and he was still struggling with it.  He always could think of himself as Wally though, Wally was a safe default since only two year ago there was _only_ Wally.  Wally was _whole_ and he could associate himself with that.  
   
“I don’t know why they’re freaking out about it.  They don’t have to do anything,” Dick continued.  “You’re still the same, you just talk to yourself less.”  
   
“It’s hard on my parents.  I mean, their son is insane.”  
   
Dick was on his feet in an instant and he slapped Wally in the back of his head, ignoring the speedster’s wail of protest.  “Don’t ever say that!  Don’t ever say that again!  You’re fine!  You always have been!  You’re different, but you’re not insane!”  
   
The Boy Wonder stood behind Wally and crossed his arms, not happy with Wally’s silence.  
   
“You’re not insane and I need to know that you believe that.  No one thinks you’re insane.  Everyone is worried about you, but no one thinks you’re insane.”  
   
“Conner thought I was insane when he caught me talking to myself,” Wally whispered.  No, not talking to himself, he thought, he was talking to his friends, his brothers.  Who were fragments of himself.  So maybe he was talking to himself?  Wally pressed his hand to his forehead, this was getting really confusing and he was beginning to get a headache.  
   
“Conner isn’t even a year old!  He doesn’t know!  He’ll understand once he gets used to the fact that Conner Kent is separate from Superboy.  Look, what happened to you could easily happen to any of us.  I mean, sometimes I think Bruce has multiple people in his head.  Have you ever seen him at one of those fancy parties?  Total playboy.  Then ten minutes later he’s chasing down the Joker in a bat suit and he is the _night_ or something like that.  God, sometimes I think I’m multiple people.  Actually, I _am_.  I mean, Richard Grayson, Bruce Wayne’s ward?  Totally different from Robin, Boy Wonder.  And they’re both different from Dick Grayson of the Flying Graysons, acrobat extraordinaire.  So in that sense I’m kind of like you.  Three identities, one little ole me, but I’m still the same.  So you’re not insane, you’re just, you know, a superhero.  Do you get what I’m saying?”  
   
Wally gave his friend a soft smile.  “I get it.  I _think_.”  
   
Dick returned the smile and snatched up his homework.  “Come on, I know I got all of those right.  Let’s go to the arcade now.  I want to hang out with on my own before you get all _snuggly_ with your boyfriend.”  
   
“We’re not dating anymore,” Wally replied.  “We haven’t since, you know.”  
   
“Yeah, I’ll believe that when he _doesn’t_ have his hands all over you.”  
   
“We don’t even kiss.”  
   
“I know, but it doesn’t mean that you’re not in love with him.”  Dick made a kissy face.  
   
“Shut up.”  
   
“Wally and Roy sitting in a tree …”  
   
“Dude!  Shut up!”  
   
He couldn’t stop smiling.  He wasn’t sure if he really was Wally.  Still, it made him feel better thinking of himself as Wally.  It felt _right_.


	9. Parts 31-Epilogue

31  
   
Wally sat between Conner and Robin on the couch for movie night at Mount Justice.  It was his first movie night and sleepover there, since … Well, he didn’t really know.  He’s Wally, he could accept that.  It was a little harder for him to identify as Kid Flash and Kid Fate.  He didn’t know if all of KF’s experiences counted as his own.  Mr. Nelson said that they were all the same, all the same person and KF’s and Fate’s experiences were his own.  However, sometimes Wally just didn’t know, didn’t understand.  
   
“Hey,” Robin whispered as his elbow met Wally’s ribs.  “Hey, don’t over think it.  Just relax and have fun.”  
   
“I’m trying,” Wally whispered back.  
   
“We’re your friends, KF, we like you.  Every little bit of you.”  
   
No one said anything about the whispering during the movie, but suddenly Conner laid his strong arm over Wally’s shoulders and pulled him close.  The awkward angle in which Wally was pressed to Conner’s chest made him feel like a favorite stuffed animal being clutched onto by a child.  He actually didn’t mind it, but Wally knew he’d eventually have to teach Conner how to properly hug someone.  Maybe he could teach Megan or Linda how to give hugs too.  
   
Off to the side he could hear Artemis and Megan giggling to each other at the sight and while the sound sent a pleasant feeling through him, he also flushed with embarrassment.  He stayed like that for the rest of the movie and was thoroughly tortured as he watched the others eat the rest of the popcorn and snacks.  Even Kaldur deliberately ate in front of him while Wally pouted.  
   
After the movie Wally made his way to the kitchen, his stomach grumbling at him for food.  He grabbed some leftover pizza and hopped up onto the counter to eat his snack. He paused in mid chew as Megan came into the kitchen, she smiled at him and went to the refrigerator for a soda.  Her hair shined prettily in the florescent light and he couldn’t help but watch her.  
   
Megan looked off.  Wally never got used to seeing her with pale skin, in the guise she used for school.  
   
“Are you ok, Wally?”  She asked, setting her drink aside.  It looked like she was about to take a step towards him, but thought better of it and stayed where she was.  
   
She hadn’t touched him ever since …  
   
 _Green hands reached for him and glowing eyes came closer and closer._  
   
 _It hurt so much.  It hurt, the pieces being pressed together, things that were once separate becoming whole.  And their screams echoed his head._  
   
 _His brothers.  Where were his brothers?_  
   
“I can leave,” Megan offered.  “I can go stay with my …” She didn’t dare to mention J’onn in front of Wally.  Her eyes were suspiciously shiny when Wally didn’t say anything.  “It’s ok.  I understand.  I really do,” her voice waivered.  Megan turned to leave.  
   
Wally hopped off the counter and he grabbed Megan’s shoulder, making her face him.  “Will you … will you read to me tonight?  I can’t sleep, you know, if it’s quiet.”  
   
Megan looked unsure.  “Don’t you want Robin or Kaldur to do it?”  
  
“No.  We … we haven’t finished _Sense and Sensibility_ yet.”  
   
The Martian finally smiled.  “Ok, Wally.  I’ll read to you.”  
   
“You have to look like you.  You look weird like that.”  
   
Megan’s eyes widen.  
   
“I mean, you’re cute!” Wally said hastily, rubbing a hand over his face.  “You’re cute like that, I just like it better when … when you look like you.”  
   
Concern washed over her features.  “Are you sure?”  
   
He wasn’t sure, but he nodded his head anyway.  Megan nodded back and pale skin turned to Martian green.  
   
 _J’onn’s hands were coming towards him, pressing against his head.  A new presence entered his mind and the pressure was unbearable._  
   
 _“This is for the best.  This will make you **better**.”_  
   
 _Wally, KF and Fate didn’t want to be better, they just wanted to exist.  But green hands keep holding onto his head and there’s no escape.  No escape._  
   
“Wally!”  Megan was suddenly in front of him and her slender, green hands cupped his cheeks gently.  “Wally, are you ok!?  You’re really pale!”  
   
Her hands were warm and soft against his skin.  Her slender and gentle hands that never harmed him.  This was Megan, his teammate, his friend, his crush.  Then realizing that she was touching Wally, Megan tried to pull away.  Wally laid his hands on top of hers, keeping them in place.  
   
“I’m scaring you,” Megan’s voice trembled.  
   
“Yes.”  It was the truth.  “But I want you to be you.  I like you, Megan.  You’re my friend, my teammate and you’re super hot, especially with green skin.”  
   
A weak laugh escaped from her lips.  “I’m glad you think that.”  
   
Wally opened his mouth again, but he was cut off by a smack to his head and Artemis’s indignant cry, “Stop harassing Megan!  Anyway, Robin said that you were with Roy, Kid Cheat!”  
   
The speedster spun around and glared at Artemis, both genuinely annoyed and excited to argue with her.  “Hey Missy, we were having a _moment_!  Don’t be jealous because I won’t have one with you!”  
   
“Oh please!  That’s the last thing I want from you!”  
   
“Don’t deny it, you follow me out all the time.  Probably hoping I’ll save you from Klarion or something.”  
   
“I’m just trying to make sure you don’t get yourself killed!”  
   
Megan laid her hand over her heart and smiled as she listened to their argument, something familiar and right warming her.  Wally went silent and his entire body froze when Megan’s sweet voice filled his mind.  _“I’m glad, Wally.  I’m glad that I get to see all of you at once.  I like you.  We all do.”_  
   
   
32  
   
Kaldur was the first to show up.  Wally let him into the house, feeling oddly relieved that someone showed up.  There was a small lingering fear that no one would come to his little gathering, even though he got confirmation from Dick, Kaldur and Roy.  While he invited Artemis, Megan and Conner as well, all three were busy, and Wally thought it was kind of cool that the original _partners_ were all going to hang out.  If they didn’t stand him up.  But they were his friends, _real_ friends.  
   
“Thank you for inviting me, Wally,” Kaldur said politely and held out a tin of cookies.  “M’gann sends her regards.”  Wally took the tin and didn’t open it yet, he wanted to save them for the others.  “I believe this is the first time I’ve been to your house,” Kaldur observed and looked around the living room with open curiosity.  
   
“Uh, it’s Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris’s place.  I’m staying here until …”  
   
The team leader just placed his hand on Wally’s upper arm.  “I understand.  Where are your aunt and uncle then?  I would like to say hello.”  
   
“Uncle Barry is out on a mission, so if something explodes I’m on call to take care of it.  And Aunt Iris is at a friend’s retirement party or something like that, she’ll be gone all night.”  
   
They had the place to themselves.  Any good teenage gathering should lack parental supervision and this would be Wally’s first gathering.  He had friends to invite over now.  The friends that he made as Kid Flash were his friends as Wally West.  Because Kid Flash and Wally West were the same, as Wally kept telling himself.  
   
It excited him and made him nervous.  Earlier that day Wally bought extra controllers for his gaming system, he didn’t realize that up to four people could play on it.  He never had that many people over at once.  He also spent a ridiculous amount of time at the grocery store, trying to determine what snacks his friends would like to eat.  Then Wally called Dick in a panic to bring over games, because Wally didn’t have a lot of multiplayer ones.  
  
Before she left, Aunt Iris had given him some money and a wink, telling him to buy some pizza and to have fun with his friends.  
   
Fun.  Ok, fine.  With his friends.  That sounded both odd and familiar.  
   
“I’m glad that the Flash is acknowledging your capabilities,” Kaldur said, interrupting Wally’s train of thoughts.  
   
“Huh?”  
   
The older teen smiled and explained, “Leaving Central City in your hands.  It’s a sign of his trust in you.”  
   
“Do you think so?  Even though I’m …” He trailed off.  _‘Even though I’m crazy?’_  
   
“He trusts you because you’re Kid Flash and his partner.  His trust is well founded, my friend.”  
   
Wally frowned.  “He did tape Grandpa Jay and Uncle Hal’s numbers to my goggles.  He also gave me the number for someone named Commissioner Gordon with instructions to ask for the Batsignal.”  
   
Kaldur laughed quietly.  “You are also his nephew and he wants to make sure you are safe.  My king can be similarly protective on the occasion.  And do I even need to mention how Batman can be with Robin?”  
   
Whatever tension that was in Wally left his body and he felt better.  Kaldur was good at the comforting business, it was no wonder why Conner liked him so much.   
  
  
32.5  
  
“Ugh!  Doesn’t Captain Boomerang ever learn that he can’t win?”  Kid Flash griped as he dodged one of the Rogue’s boomerangs.  He was not in a good mood.  He was hosting his first hang out ever and then Captain Boomerang had to try to rob a bank when he was just about to beat Robin in their racing game.  
   
“Robbing a bank is the most boring crime ever!” KF continued.  “And can’t he think of a cleverer name?  Captain Cold already has cornered the market on Captains.”  
   
“You should be one to talk, Kid _Flash_ ,” Robin countered, throwing a couple of birdarangs at the Rogue.  “Talk about lack of originality.”  
   
“May I remind you that I am _Aqua_ lad and my king is _Aqua_ man,” Aqualad gave the Boy Wonder a sideways glance and a frown.  
   
“That’s because we’re cool and have names affiliated with our mentors.”  Another dodge and Kid Flash winced as he heard a loud explosion behind of him from the boomerang.  He promised the Flash he wouldn’t let Central City get too damaged while the Scarlet Speedster was away.  He _really_ disliked Captain Boomerang for not only interrupting his time with his friends, but for also making him a liar.  
   
“Hey, what about Red Arrow?”  Robin showed off with a flip when Captain Boomerang attacked.  “When he was partners with Green Arrow he was Speedy, but now after he left he’s Red _Arrow_ , like Green _Arrow_.  Affiliated names, but no more affiliation.  What would that be, ‘filiated’?”  
  
“Shut up, Boy _Blunder_ ,” Red Arrow growled and drew his bowstring back, letting his arrow go.  The trick arrow caught Captain Boomerang off guard as he was trying to avoid the attacks from the other teens.  The arrow released high-density polyurethane foam, effectively trapping Captain Boomerang.  
   
Kid Flash ran over to Red Arrow, skidding to a stop in front of the older teen with a large grin.  “I _love_ it when you use your sciencey arrows.  It gets my blood moving.”  
   
“Do I really have to listen to this!?”  Captain Boomerang protested as Red Arrow smirked at Kid Flash and ruffled his hair.  
   
“Just be thankful that they’re not making out,” Robin said over dramatically and ignored the angry glare for KF and grinned at the look of disgust from the Rogue.  
   
“Would you like us to assist you in bringing Boomerang in?”  Aqualad asked.  
   
Hearing the sirens of the police cars closing in, Kid Flash shook his head.  “Nah, sounds like backup is on its way.”  
   
Robin looked at the time and frowned, “I need to get back into Gotham and I’d prefer to avoid the press.  We’ll hang out again soon, it was fun.  Oh!  And don’t forget to tell the press that you had help, KF.  Want a lift, Aqualad?”  
   
“If everything is being taken of here, then yes.”  
   
Robin saluted to his friends and fired off his grappling gun, and he and Aqualad disappeared into the skyscrapers of Central City.  
   
“I’ll wait for you at the usual place,” Red Arrow told him and left Kid Flash to deal with the police and the press on his own.  
   
Later Kid Flash was up on the rooftop of a tall building and Red Arrow was waiting for him with one bag filled with burgers, one bag filled with fries and large milkshakes.  Their dinner of pizza had been interrupted by Boomerang, so they dined out on the rooftop.  KF took the food with a quick thank you and started eating.  Red Arrow grabbed a burger and some fries for himself before they all disappeared and sat down next to KF, watching over the city.  
   
They ate in a companionable silence, until Kid Flash swallowed down his second burger and asked, “Are we dating?”  
   
Red Arrow choked a little on his milkshake.  “I don’t know.”  
   
“Oh.”  Kid Flash shoved a handful of fries into his mouth.  It was as honest as an answer that he could hope for and that’s all he wanted.  Still, it didn’t stop the ache that was spreading through his chest that eating couldn’t distract him from.  
   
Red Arrow’s shoulder pressed against his.  “I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything.  I didn’t know … I didn’t know if you’d still … and I didn’t know if I’d still …”  
   
“It’s cool.”  Kid Flash tried to act indifferent.  
   
“Goddamn it, Kid, after the League fucked with your head I didn’t know if you’d be the same anymore, I was afraid that J’onn had wiped _all_ of you out,” Red Arrow confessed.  “I hated the League before, but I hate them even more for what they did to you.”  
   
 _Roy sat at the boy’s bedside, almost never leaving it.  Between Roy and Robin, the boy was never alone at the Watchtower.  When their friends and Iris came Roy would give them a tired nod, a sign of appreciation for their support.  But whenever someone from the Justice League came in, Roy gave them his angriest, dirtiest look._  
   
 _He even gave it to Black Canary until she glared back and snapped, “Don’t give me that look, young man!  I wasn’t the one who approved of this!”_  
   
 _One morning, or what counted as morning up on the Watchtower, the boy woke up to heated words just outside his door.  Cracking open an eye and peeking out from under his blanket, the boy spied Roy standing in the doorway, talking to his Uncle Barry, blocking the entrance into the room._  
   
 _“Look at what you’ve done!  He’s so lost!  Wally doesn’t know **who** he is!  What if J’onn broke his mind for good!?  What if J’onn wiped out all of his personalities!?”  Roy growled dangerously._  
   
 _“Wally is whole now, J’onn said it’d take awhile for him to adjust, but he’s whole.”  Barry protested._  
   
 _“Look at him!  Does he seem fine to you!?”_  
   
 _“No,” a pained whisper came from Barry.  “No.  I can never forgive myself for what he went through.  Never.”_  
   
 _The boy could see Roy’s shoulders relax a little and he hoped that Roy would forgive Uncle Barry, that he would stop being angry.  But then Roy said, “I can’t forgive you either.”_  
   
“I hate them.”  
   
“Because I’m not the same anymore?”  Kid Flash asked, beginning to feel small and inadequate.  
   
“No, I hate them for hurting you, for scaring you,” Red Arrow said softly.  He reached over and stroked Kid Flash’s hair.  “From what I can see you’re still the same, you’re just more integrated.  Before when I saw you I used to wonder if you’d be all over me, if you’d just want to kiss and cuddle or if you’d demand a back massage.  You seem less separated now.  I mean, all at once you’re incredibly sexy and confident and cute.  I don’t know if I want to hold you or throw you onto the nearest bed.”  
   
Kid Flash blushed under his cowl.  
   
“That’s the look, sexy and cute,” Red Arrow chuckled.  “Before I wasn’t sure, I didn’t know if we could be together like that anymore, but I still wanted to help you, I still cared about you.”  
   
“And now?”  
   
“And now I just want to be with you.  In any way you feel comfortable with.”  
   
“Oh.”  
   
“Yeah.”

“So, I guess we’re dating then.”  
   
“Good.”  
   
Kid Flash grinned and leaned his head on Red Arrow’s broad shoulder.  “Yeah, good.”  
   
   
33  
   
Dinners with his parents were still quiet, but it wasn’t oppressive.  Wally didn’t choke on the silence when he sat at the table.  His mother’s fingers still wrapped themselves around the stem of her wineglass, but she never got up to refill it.  His dad’s beer went mostly untouched.  It was almost the same.  Almost like when they had their perfect son.  
   
“So, you’re doing better?”  Mary asked.  
   
“I am.  I think I could go back to school, but Aunt Iris wants me to continue with home school until the end of the year.  As if I wasn’t weird enough,” Wally rolled his eyes in jest and a bit of self loathing.  
   
His mom and dad just nodded absently.  
   
“At least you’ll be ahead.  You might even be able to start as a senior next year,” his mother commented.  “You’ve always been such a smart boy.”  
   
“Lots of science fair ribbons to prove that,” his father agreed.  “I also heard from Iris that you’re back with your team.  You’re out saving the world again.”  
   
On a limited basis, but that was true.  “Yeah, I am.”  
   
Rudy’s lips curled upwards.  “That’s good to hear, son.”  
   
Wally beamed.  
   
“So, you’re all better now?”  Mary asked _that_ question, her tone rising.  It was so much different than ‘So, you’re doing better?’  Because that was easy to answer.  Wally was always doing a little better.  But he couldn’t say that he was all better, he couldn’t answer _that_ question.  
   
Wally deflated.  
   
“I see,” she said and sipped on her drink.  His dad didn’t say anything.  
   
That day he choked on that silence a little and it tasted bitter against his palate.  
   
“May I be excused?”  His plate was half full with his first serving, but he wasn’t hungry anymore.  
   
“Yes,” his mother replied.  
   
Wally walked out the front door without another word.  He didn’t belong there, not yet anyway.  His parents were dealing with it the best they could, which happened to be _not_ dealing with it at all.  But one day his mom would ask _that_ question and he would say yes.  He would say that he was all better.  He would say that he didn’t long to hear voices in his head, that he no longer felt lonely inside his own body, and that he felt confident calling himself Wally West, Kid Flash and Kid Fate all within one breath.  He would say that he was whole, that he was their perfect son again.  
   
Today was not that day.  
   
He didn’t belong at his parents’ house, Wally belonged elsewhere.  He had his aunt and uncle’s house.  He had Mount Justice.  He had Roy’s apartment.  And on days that he was feeling really brave he had Wayne Manor, if Batman wasn’t around.  
   
Walking up to his aunt and uncle’s house, Wally sat down on the steps of the front porch.  Barry and Iris were out to dinner that night, because he told them he was going to eat with his parents.  He didn’t like walking into the empty house.  It was like walking into his empty mind, void of his old roommates, his friends, his brothers.  
   
He didn’t hear their voices anymore, he didn’t hear Wally, Kid Flash or Kid Fate.  However, when he found himself blushing and spouting out chemical compounds he felt like Wally.  When he ran alongside the Flash and flirted with every pretty and handsome face in sight he felt like Kid Flash.  When he found himself believing and looking into Klarion’s eyes through Dr. Fate’s helmet he felt like Kid Fate.  He felt better during those moments.  
   
There were still times when he cried in frustration, when he remembered the pain of J’onn in his head and he felt like just a shell, just a _boy_.  It was hard when he’d subconsciously reach out into his mind and he’d find no one there.  It was lonely.  
   
“Dinner didn’t go well with the parents, huh?”  
   
Wally blinked as he found Dick standing in front of him, wearing his sunglasses despite the overcast weather and holding a package in his hand.   
   
“It was too hard.  It usually isn’t this hard, but …”  
  
“Let’s go inside and have dinner.  I brought Mexican.”  Dick walked up to the house and pulled out a key, sliding it into the lock.  Wally shook his head, of course Dick had a key.  
   
“How did you know?”  Wally asked as he closed and locked the door behind them.  
   
“That you’d want Mexican?”  
   
“No, that I’d need you.”  
   
Dick smirked a little, taking off his sunglasses.  “I make it my business to know, Wally.  That’s what I’m here for.”  
   
Sometimes it wasn’t that lonely.  Sometimes he wasn’t lonely at all.  He had friends like Dick.  All parts of him liked Dick, and he felt his shy wonder, his strong sense of brotherhood and his quiet respect warmed in Dick’s presence.  And he had others as well.  He had the rest of his team, Roy, his aunt and uncle, and even Linda.  Wally wasn’t alone.  
   
Wally paused for a moment and then his voice rose in outrage.  “Dude!  Do you have cameras or something at my parents’ house?”  
   
Dick’s eyes darted away.  “Come on, this food isn’t going to eat itself.”  
   
“ _Dude_!”  
   
Even though he couldn’t hear their voices in his head anymore, he could feel Wally, KF and Fate.  He could feel their emotions, he knew their words, he knew their thoughts, he lived their lives.  They were pieces of himself.  
   
Even though it was hard for him to believe sometimes, he was all of them.  
   
He was Wally West, Kid Flash and Kid Fate.  
   
   
Epilogue  
   
Megan shifted uncomfortably.  She stood in the middle of Wally’s bedroom at his aunt and uncle’s house.  There were stacks of science and sorcery books and comics sitting haphazardly on the shelves and the floor in contrast to the neat and tidy desk.  Posters of the Flash and Green Lanterns hung on the wall alongside framed pictures of Wally’s friends, including a pretty Asian girl Megan had never seen before.  On the nightstand there was a cute cat plushie that Wally winced at when Megan picked it up.  
   
Megan looked over at the door when Barry walked in and right away she asked, “Are you sure?  Uncle J’onn would be more qualified to do this.  I really don’t want to hurt Wally.”  
   
Barry shook his head.  “No, not J’onn.  I know this is a lot of pressure, but you’re the only who can do this.”  
   
“I trust you,” Wally reassured her.  “I know you won’t hurt me.”  
   
“Ok.  Tell me if you need me to stop, tell me right away.”  Megan took a step towards her friend, who was sitting on the bed.  Her fingers brushed against his temples and tangled into red hair, hoping that her touch was comforting to him.  She was conscious to close her eyes so he wouldn’t have to see them glow as she slipped into his mind and she was hit by a wall of jumbled memories.  
   
— _“Wally!  We need to go to the mall!”_  
   
 _“Why, Linda?”_

_“We need to get you a nice shirt for the dance.”_  
   
 _“I wish Roy had just told me I couldn’t go with you.”_  
   
 _“Well, he didn’t and you’re going.  So there.”_  
   
 _Where was Robin?  Robin would have an escape plan to get away from the mall_ —  
   
— _Pain wracked his body and he collapsed to the ground when his legs would no longer hold him up.  Fate looked up as Mr. Nelson knelt in front of him, concern in his kind eyes.  He wished he could tell the older man that he was ok, but Klarion struck his body again and he couldn’t stop his own cry of pain._  
   
 _“I want to play with **him**!  Not you, you geezer!”  Klarion yelled angrily.  “Take off that helmet!  I want to see him!”_  
   
 _A shiver ran down Fate’s spine and he closed his eyes while Klarion whined to see him_ —  
   
— _Where was the rest of his team?  Where were they?  He’s good at the speed thing, but he’s running low on energy and he needed help.  Kid Flash looked over his shoulder and his throat tightened at the sight of Artemis crumpled on the ground unconscious.  He needed help, but Artemis needed it more._  
   
 _Staggering to his feet, KF lifted his head.  “Hey, ugly!  Is that all you got?”_ —  
   
— _“Dude, are you reading a book on magic!?”_  
   
 _“Uh, no.”_  
   
 _“Yes you are!  And are you holding a cat plushie?”_  
   
 _“Uh, no.”_ —  
   
— _He crossed his arms impatiently.  The Flash was never going to stop talking to the press, Kid Flash was sure of that.  They were going to be late.  He had training and he was hoping to catch his team before and invite them over to his house for the weekend.  He even bought a couple more games that were multiplayer_ —  
   
— _“Why don’t you spend a couple of nights here a week?”_  
   
 _“It makes Mom uncomfortable.”_  
   
 _A heavy hand rested on his shoulder and his father gave him a half smile.  “Let me deal with her.”_ —  
   
— _“Wally,” Roy’s breath was warm against his skin.  Hands were wandering up his shirt as a tongue traced the sensitive shell of his ear and he squirmed in the archer’s lap._  
   
 _They’re going to get caught.  Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris were right downstairs and they’re going to hear them.  They don’t know that Roy had climbed through his window to see him.  Hell, they don’t even know that they’re dating._  
   
 _A strong hand suddenly squeezed Wally’s bottom and he automatically arched up against Roy, their bodies so tight together_ —  
   
Megan let go of Wally with a fierce blush on her face and Wally looked away embarrassed.  
   
“Are you ok?”  Barry’s eyes looked from Wally to Megan, fear creeping up on him.  
   
“We’re fine, it just felt a little weird,” Wally gave his uncle a small smile, not saying what Megan accidently saw.  
   
“Everything looks ok.”  Megan said, wiping her hands against her skirt.  She had been invited in, but she felt dirty from knowing what her uncle did to Wally before.  She felt like an intruder.  “There are no cracks in his psyche, no separation or anything like that.  Everything that my uncle did is still intact.”  
   
Barry nodded.  “Thank you, Megan.”  
   
 _“You’ll be ok, Wally,”_ Megan whispered into her friend’s mind as Barry continued to speak.  _“You’re so wonderful, so wonderful and beautiful because you’re made up of them.  Because you’ve always been made up of all of them.”_  
   
Their eyes met and they shared a look.  For the first time in a long time Megan felt confident that this was how Wally was supposed to be.  It pained her that her uncle had hurt Wally and that for so long her friend had suffered from the aftermath.  But Megan saw the result and she really did think he was wonderful and beautiful the way he was now.  
   
Wally smiled at her with a bit of shyness, a smidge of belief and a tease of flirtatiousness tugging at his lips.  
   
Megan felt confident and hopeful.


End file.
